Keeping Tabs

(album: Nicole - 2022)

You left without saying goodbye (Fuck, fuck, fuck)
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
I ball a fist and die inside
I wish I didn't, but regrettably, I entirely understand why you did it

Take one step forward and two jumps back
One hand on the gate of this cul-de-sac
Some cursed part of me wants to be cornered right into it even if we crack
You left early and you arrived too late
Just right in time to be a huge mistake
So I wish you well and I wish you far away
This was never real, I'll say it till I believe it

I wish I never
Met you, you are the
Worst thing that I'm still keeping tabs on for some stupid reason
You were just being
Nice, now I fully believe you're out
There somewhere also keeping tabs on how I might be feeling

For some stupid reason
I keep on believing
You care and you're reeling too
I don't even know you

Drowning in my own
Sad, imagined fantasy of who you could be
The reality is you
Unironically love personality tests
All of the data's weak, half-amusing at best
But it could never work 'cause I'm an Enneatype 4 Aquarius

You say the wrong thing every time you talk
The red flags wave, the alarms sound off
I'm so glad our paths didn't cross
I'm so glad, I'll say it till I believe it

I wish I never
Met you, you are the
Worst thing that I'm still keeping tabs on for some stupid reason
You're the same with everyone
I'm not special, no
You're not out there just keeping tabs on how I might be feeling

That's all just imagined
I keep on believing
You care and you miss me too
I need to get over you, oh
Oh, I need to get over you