History Of A Madman

(album: Love - 2006)

It's Nix in his chair with a bottle in his hand
He's already stumbling but he swallowed some again
He gets out of his chair, throws a bottle in the air
And then hit this boy, now the boy's lost and scared

He's trembling, feels a sudden urge of adrenaline
Letting him know he's not a kid to be messing with
He's stressing him, no wonder he's emptied the medicine
He's a gentleman, too embarrassed to go and tell his friends

So he barricades himself in this room
He marinates the pain, embedded with doom
He tries to fade away by making his music
But page after page he feels hate is just useless

He tries to medicate as he takes a breath
He doesn't wanna segregate he'd rather say what's left
Yeah you're damn straight that he's planning his death
Just take a look at all the evidence on his desk

It's history, it's history, it's giving me, it's giving me
Every last drop of fuel in my can
It's history, it's history, it's driven me, it's driven me
To become a madman

I remember my black neighbor Jarred
We used to always relate as we was raised by one parent
He used to ask me "Why do them white dudes fight you?"
Like "Shit Richy, they must not like you"

Shit's getting bad dude, both your eyes are black and blue
Like "How bad?" "Dude they smack you and harass you"
I'm back in school, they used to jack my food
And laughed at my ghetto-ass hat and shoes

I wish I had packed, I'd get that shoots
In and out of bully, click-clack and boom
But that didn't happen you know I spit
What is the truth and what is factual

So I started MC battling, so I be rapping with predominately blacky kids
But I guess I was pissing people off
They'd always meet me in the park, beat me then leave me in the dark
While I'm bleeding and screaming at the stars

It's history, it's history, it's giving me, it's giving me
Every last drop of fuel in my can
It's history, it's history, it's driven me, it's driven me
To become a madman

I was just a little child taking piano lessons
My mom was really proud "God damn, he's progressive"
I saw it through the clouds momma, why are you stressing?
Like "What's up now, no more piano lessons?"

Momma tell me how cause I can't be guessing
Holy cow, can't you answer the damn question
As time went by, I still don't know why
My daddy disappeared and couldn't provide

Me with the right explanation
But I see that he tried his best translation
And to me that he's wise, a man embracious
Fucking lied I cried, cause I couldn't take it

But eye to eye, I'm prepared to face it
I'll leave it all behind cause I can't replace it
But it gives me the finest drive and make it
So believe in me pops cause I'm courageous

It's history, it's history, it's giving me, it's giving me
Every last drop of fuel in my can
It's history, it's history, it's driven me, it's driven me
To become a madman