The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman

(album: What The Hell Happened To Me? - 1996)

[Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background]
"And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl."

[Girl:] "You wanted to ask me something?"
[Excited Southerner:] "Yes, I did. I first of all I just wanted to say that you're
very pretty girl, and I, I hoo
you'the we've known each other for so long now,
and-uh, it's about time that the two of us
we're both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don't want to die alone, I
tell you that much hoo
getting ahead of myself
got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, concentrate on what I'm trying to get across
to you right now, hoo, I mean,
whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband,
you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there,
there, I'm, I'm, the-, I'm, I'm hoo, honeymoon in the Poconos, with the
hoo, woo hoo sex optional
you don't have to do what you don't want to do, hoo hoo hoo hoo,
someday you're going to love me, and that that's fi
til death do us part I,
we'll get the chocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset
no prenuptial agree --"
[Girl:] "Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you?
Because I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment."
[Excited Southerner:] "Coooooo."