You Mock Me

(album: Crimson Cord - 2014)

And I asked you to be a symbol of the strength that was once given
Yet you mocked me
Oh, the mockery
And I place so much confidence in the lessons I swear you taught me
Yet you mock me
Oh, the mockery
You taunt me about glory days
You say my best is yet behind me
You just bring up old stuff; our relationship is so unhealthy
So codependent, you cut me
Down
You blame me, I blame me
And I'm a man and I won't crack and I won't show emotions right
I do just like my daddy did and his did
I bury you
I build me a mausoleum with a storage unit attached to it just for you
And I've grown so very weary at failing to make you stay there
I hate it when you show up at my functions; you're so pompous
And without an ounce of shame, you almost ruined my marriage
You mocked me
Oh, the humanity
And I try to upgrade the way I speak and raise my daughter
But every time I open my mouth, all I hear is my father
And the same foolish pride and pitfalls that he installed
Leap through my pores like, "Poor me", so annoying
And I place so much faith in you, but you let me down
I see my own eyes in my eight-year-old when I correct her
Why won't you go away?
You smirk as you chase me
You a coy Helen of Troy that toys with emotions
And feeble-brained boys like me fall for it every time
You mock me
And I'll probably do my best to convince you that I'm the victim
And you just don't believe me
You insist you are me
And I've ran and I've ran, yet your stride is identical
Every step I took, your foot fit right in it
Why can't I shake you?
I just can't shake you
You are my past
Why won't you stay there?

You that pain that guides us
Strings that tie us
That coincidence that proves to us God's existence
The joy I misplaced
Beautiful mistakes
A scarlet thread
My crimson cord