I Don't Care

Everybody loves a winner (Winner)

I swear, they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care

You know I was born up at the top floor
But I came out at a basement
Mom wanted me to be a doctor
But I came out as a patient
Now I get a thousand DMs everyday, I had a fan telling me that I saved him
Saying that he loving everything I make and I couldn't take a single second out my day to make his
I'm just getting number every time I see my numbers
Every time I see the bottom
Every time we see each other
Every time I pop a bottle
Every time I hit the lotto
Every time I see tomorrow
I just really want another
I'm just stuck between the gutter
In the rain, it ain't pain, that I'm feeling, but it's something in the same kinda vein
That I'm healing from, I wonder why I feel so little
Cuz I ain't been on the top I think I'm somewhere in the middle

I swear, they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care

So what, so uh, So a, hole in my soul, that shit looking like a donut (Yuh)
You and me can laugh together
But I don't think that thats gonna put it back together
I've been living like I'm stuck under the covers
I know this'll make em proud, but I know they gone need another and another and another and another and another
Like I'm DJ Khalid with a mother fucking stutter ('Kay, yuh)
Today I woke up, grabbed my phone to check the gram I started scrolling
Got a message from a dude without a profile picture, shit was long as fuck, I thought that he was trolling
So I tried to swipe it out but accidentally must of opened
I said fuck it, guess I'll read it, now that's it already loaded, had a sudden premonition
But it faded in the moment so I focused, started reading, lemme try my best to quote as he wrote it, it said
"My homie was a huge fucking fan, used to play your shit everyday
He struggled with depression and he told me that the music was the thing that always set him straight
But I guess it must of gotten to much, for him, killed himself a couple months back, it's felt so fucking long
But it reminded me of him when you popped up on my page
And I went and started listening to a couple songs so
Keep doing you bro."
He followed up with a post from his friend, it was a screenshot of my track
I, clicked the profile full of R.I.Ps and the comments
Shit I couldn't even stomach looking at but all the sudden, in the instant everything felt grimmer
Read the name again and realized it sounded familiar
Clicked the DM, to see if he had talked to me before
Saw this was the same kid I consciously ignored a couple months ago

I swear, they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care

Apathy
There's no reason to be mad at me
That's just how it has to be