The K. Rool Way: A DK Isle Campaign Song

(album: Random Encounters: Season 2 - 2012)

Why, what a fortuitous stroke of luck
For you to meet this savvy croc
Whose every interest co-intersects with your own!

It's very clear to me that you're wise
And I can see it in your eyes
That this whole rendevouz's confounded you, y'know!

Well, it's no coincidence at all
Because these incidences all
Have by designment caused alignment betwixt us two!

So gather 'round, my new friends, and listen
To my most informational disposition
As I conduct my introduction just for you!

Oh, everybody knows I'm evil!
Rotton to the core, straight through and through!
I'm despicable and mean
And I'm dastardly and green!
I'm a horrible consortable, it's true!

Oh, everybody knows I'm wretched!
I'm volatile and violent everyday!
I'm vicious and unkind
Unabashed and unrefined!
So act like I and try the K. Rool Way!

"The K. Rool Way," you say, "How queer!"
Yes, gather 'round! Incline your ear!
For I right here am very clearly King K. Rool!

And since I've heard you all complaining
I'm now presidentially campaigning!
Ergo, my malevolental governmental rule!

And while you may find this commercial
A wee bit quasi-controversal
I'll very soon send burly goons to break your legs!

And when it comes Election Day
I fully expect to hear you say
That you have wrote
On your vote that you support the K. Rool Way!

Oh, no one's quite as qualified as K. Rool!
I know much more than how to dance and sing!
I've a doctorate degree
Did Naval service out at sea
And I'm still a first-class killer in the ring!

Oh, everybody wants to join my army!
Just sign this dotted line! Enlist today!
Be you muscle-bound and ripped
Or quite flabby and unfit
Either's fine! So mind the K. Rool Way!

Come one, come all! Today's the day!
It's time to try the K. Rool Way!
Why spend time on legislation
For something dull as "education?"

Let's allocate our precious funds
On something cool, like laser guns!
A cannon 90 meters long
To shoot and blow up Donkey Kong!

And once his island is no more
I'll steal his Gold Banana horde!

Everybody knows I'm brilliant!
No monkey makes a monkey out of me!
I'll use my foxy girth
To jump around and shake the earth!
Then I'll flatten all combatants expertly!

Oh, everybody knows... I'm AWESOME!
It's clear that I'm superior to DK!
Support my wicked schemes
Or I'll liquefy your spleens!
Fall in line behind The K. Rool Way!