Joggin'

(album: He Thinks He's Ray Stevens - 1984)

Well I wake up ev'ry morning 'fore the crack of dawn
Slip into my Nikes and my sweats and I'm gone
Jogging... I got jogging on my brain
Heat wave, sleet, hail or hurricane
I'm a-pounding down the pavement, I'm a fool for pain

Jogging (joggin')
Yeah I'm jogging (joggin')

Well I've been gaulded 'tween the thighs by my velveteen togs
I've been bit right on the buns by them Doberman dogs
I've had severe inflammation of my Achilles heel
Is this the way a healthy person's supposed to feel?

I got muscle cramps, I got runner's knee
But no amount of suffering will ever stop me
From jogging... I got jogging on my brain (uh-huh)
Heat wave, sleet, hail or hurricane
I'm a-pounding down the pavement, I'm a fool for pain

Jogging (joggin')
Jogging (joggin')

I got fluorescent patches for running in the dark
I got a little can of mace for the muggers in the park
I've been bust at and cussed at by people in their cars
I've been clotheslined running blind in people's backyards

Jogging
Jogging

Jogging (joggin')
Jogging (joggin')

Well I got hundred dollar shoes and fifty dollar shorts
A Walkman, head bands, devices of all sorts
A jogger's watch, I read the Runner's Magazine
I eat fruit, bran, fiber and frozen Lean Cuisine

I tried handball, raquetball, tennis and golf
But they don't move me, I only get off
On jogging... I got jogging on my brain (uh-huh)
Heat wave, sleet, hail or hurricane
I'm a-pounding down the pavement, I'm a fool for pain

Jogging (joggin')
Yeah I'm jogging (joggin')
Yeah I'm feeling good now
Oh I've been jogging for 27 miles today
Uh-oh, is that a black dog peeping
Round the corner of that house at me?
Dag blame it, I told him to put a chain on his boy!
I'm a gonna have to call the pound again...
Oh Lord, here he comes! Oh! Good boy! Nice dog!
Heel! Down boy! Now I'm really joggin'!
I think I just pissed up my fifty dollar shorts!
Feets don't fail me now! Aaarrghh!