Southern Air

(album: Surely You Joust - 1986)

Southern Air, Southern Air
If you're flying down to Dixie
You won't find a cheaper fare
Southern Air, Southern Air
Yeah, we'll treat you like kinfolks
But you better have time to spare

Yeah, there I was. I'd just stepped on board flight number 78492100976 5432 82765...7. Flying non-stop from Hahira, Georgia to Yazoo City, Mississippi. Done bought me one of them triple ultra super saver center seat tickets. Set down there between a duck and a Ledbetter. Fella tried to talk to me, couldn't understand a word he was saying, sounded like a log truck. Duck didn't say nothing. All of a sudden I hear this voice coming in over the intracom... This here is Captain Jerry Clower. Whooo! I wanta welcome all y'all to Southern Air. We'll be ready for takeoff shortly, just as soon as they clear the runway.

There was a gun rack in the cockpit, it beat all I'd ever seen
They had complimentary copies of Mechanics Magazine
We peeled rubber on the runway looking out my window screen
I saw an "eat more possum" bumper sticker stuck out on the wings

Southern Air, Southern Air
Flying high over Dixie
Going where no others dare
Southern Air, we're Southern Air
Yeah we'll take you to your kinfolks
But you better have time to spare

Yeah, there I was. Must have been 500 feet over them pine trees. Duck had done fainted on takeoff. Had his little head laying on my arm there, his little tongue just all hanging out. We flew past Stone Mountain, crossed that Alabama state line, got so close to Enterprise you could almost see that Boll Weevil monument. Then I heard this sharp ringing in my ear... Howwdy! My name is Miss Pearl, and I'll be your stewardess for the duration of this flight. As you can see Captain Clower has turned off the No Chewing sign. Now y'all feel free to kick your shoes off, get up, roam around, get to know your neighbors. Right now I just want to get to know this good looking, handsome young hunk of man right cheer...

She served Nehis, Moon Pies, bowls of butter beans
Gone with the Wind was skipping on that movie screen
While Marcelle, Claudelle, Raynell, Eunell, Clovis and Eugene
Were all taking turns at the churn turning out peach ice cream

Southern Air, we're Southern Air
Flying high over Dixie
Country comforts in the air
Southern Air, Southern Air
If you're dying to see your kinfolks
Well you better have time to spare

Yeah, there I was. That Miss Pearl was giving me more attention then she did that first class passenger. Kept showing me all the new safety tips and playing with my seatbelt. Got me so nervous I dropped my last piece of pecan pie right on that duck's head. That little feller come to and jumped up a-quacking and a-squalling, didn't know where he was. Started running up and down the aisle, tripped over the ice cream freezer, stepped in Marcelle's sweet potatoes and flew out the screen door and was gone! Nuthing but feathers. Then I heard that voice again coming in over the intracom... I can see Yazoo City from HEAH! Whoo! Now don't y'all fret about that landing none, I got up early this morning and put on a brand new set of them big foot MUD gripper tires.

Through rain or shine, we stayed behind, Lord it was quite a show
How that duck beat us to Yazoo, well I guess I'll never know
And that purty girl they called Miss Pearl just wouldn't let me go
While that Captain kept on talking on his 2-way radio

Southern Air, Southern Air
Uncle Mercy! Can you get them cows off the runway?
Southern Air, we're Southern Air
...