The Flies Of Texas Are Upon You

(album: Crackin' Up! - 1987)

Well, the first time I met Mary Lou
I never entertained the thought
Of ever leaving Cleveland
Ah, but then I kissed her ruby reds
And she whispered in my ear
That her daddy really cleaned up down in Houston

Then she said, "Why not come home with me?"
My nose for opportunity
Just smelled the possibility of bucks
I saw Houston there at my disposal
So I accepted her proposal
And wished my friends in Cleveland lots of luck

But I never dreamed as we were driving
Tomorrow I would be arriving
To find her daddy owned a fleet of
Garbage trucks

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Yeah, that is what she said, I'm really cleaning up
(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Oh, this garbage ain't my bag, I think I've had enough

Now I'm on top of the heap
But as I look around, I realize
This ain't the kind of heap I was expecting
'Cause I can see di-stink-ly
Mary Lou has found somebody new
And I've become what I'm collecting

Yeah, and if I'd known that night she jumped me
That she was only gonna dump me
I'd have never have become a company man
And the next time some girl says to me
"My daddy's big in Tennessee"
I'll assume she means that he's just fat

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Yeah, that is what she said, I'm really cleaning up
(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Oh, this garbage ain't my bag, I think I've had enough

Yeah, I guess you could say I'm filthy rich
If you like half-eaten baloney sandwiches
Little balls of tissue paper
Sometimes I feel like a chickpea in a big salad

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Heck, I don't even have to bring my lunch to work
I can find it, it's all over me
Look at this, what is this?
Looks like part of a omelet
Ooh, look over there now, there's some

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Ooh, what is this?
A peanut butter, olive, tomato and spaghetti sandwich
Ooh, somebody read my mind, that's my favorite
Yeah, I thought I was the only one who liked those

(Now the flies of Texas are upon you)
Yum, yum