Redneck Christmas

(album: Ray Stevens Christmas: Through A Different Window - 1997)

We're having a redneck christmas
With traditional possum stew (yee-haw)
We're having a redneck christmas
Hope Santa brings a little rabbit too (yum yum)
Got Paw new chaw redman
Maw a brand new spit cup (phtoeey)
And I got my wife a brand new set
Of re-treads for my pickup truck
(Ain't he the sweetest thang)

Oh we ain't nevr seen ther raindeer
But we painted the bulls nose red (moo)
Put runners under the outhouse
And we're using it fer a sled
(Darn fool idiots what're doin'?
Sorry didn't know you was in there grandpaw
Merry Christmas now ya hear?
Well, I got yer merry christmas right here
Come back with thet catalog)

We're having a redneck christmas
TP'd the whole front yard
Put big red bows on the hound dogs
Turned the lights on all the cars (howls)
I love a redneck christmas
It's a simple kinda life
You buy one gift and that takes care
Of yer cousin and yer wife

I went downtown to see Santy Claus
Gave a dollar to one of them legs
(Here you go shorty)
So Santa'd bring a man for daughter
After all she's near bout' twelve
(Poor thing she'll be a spinster soon)

We're having a redneck christmas
Hung our stockings on the stove
On the stove (sizzle)
Hope Santa brings us big stuff
'Cause the little stuff falls through the toes, falls through
The toes

We's having a redneck christmas
With homemade moonshine eggnog (glug glug)
I took a little swig
Thought it needed more kick
Throwed in a little toe de frog
(Burp, hic, ribbit, hic, ribbit)