You Can't Hurt Ham

(album: Music To My Ears - 2012)

Bill Monroe out on the road He's going to a bluegrass date
When about midnight he said with a fright "I'm hungry is it too late?"
Well the driver said "chief ain't no place to eat, everything's done shut up tight"
Then the banjo man said he had a plan 'thought he might save the night

From a greasy little sack tucked way in the back of the bus he gave his all
A bunch of country ham and biscuits his momma made him for the haul
"'Bout two days old and started to mould" said the banjo-picking man
Mon' said "boy bring me that sack, you know you can't hurt ham"

Well, you know you can't hurt ham
You know you can't hurt ham
Mon' said "boy bring me that sack, you know you can't hurt ham"

Ol' uncle Dave making his way across the U.S.A.
Tuck a ham in a box with nails for locks he'd open up once a day
He'd hand some to the waitress say "Throw this in a pan"
I've been all around this world and girl you know you can't hurt ham

Well, you know you can't hurt ham
You know you can't hurt ham
I've been all around this world and, girl, you know you can't hurt ham

You can hurt a tater salad and it can hurt you back
Get a hold of milk too old and throw things out of wack
And you can hurt a chicken salmonella'll mess you up
And no-one can hurt you like someone you love

There's a culinary promise that's known throughout the land
No 'frigerate no expire date you know you can't hurt ham

Well, you know you can't hurt ham
You know you can't hurt ham
No 'frigerate no expire date you know you can't hurt ham
No 'frigerate no expire date you know you can't hurt ham