Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 28)

(album: Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 23–33 - 2012)

[Narrator:]
Rosie and Randolph in the bed, trying to get some sleep. But something's heavy on Randolph's heart, and he can't sleep a wink

[Randolph:]
Hmm... Hmm... Shit... Did you really mean that?

[Rosie:]
Did I mean what?

[Randolph:]
Hmph. Did you really really mean that?

[Rosie:]
Did I really really mean what?!

[Randolph:]
That night you said what you said

[Rosie:]
And what did I say?

[Randolph:]
You know what you said. You the one that said it. You called me Mr. Can't-Get-It-Up

[Rosie:]
Aw, Randolph, I'm not doing this with you tonight

[Randolph:]
Oh, yes, you are

[Rosie:]
Oh, no, I'm not!

[Randolph:]
Well, I wanna talk about it, Rosie, so just wake your ass on up

[Rosie:]
Yeah, I'ma wake up, all right, wake up and take my ass on in the other room

[Randolph:]
Yeah, well, I'ma follow you. I'ma follow you

[Rosie:]
Oh, you're a mess

[Randolph:]
Yeah? Now I'm a mess? Well, call it what you want, 'cause tonight I'ma get the shit off my chest

[Narrator:]
Yeah, that's right, Rosie and Randolph done got into an argument again. Some of y'all may think they hate each other, but if you ask me, I would say they best friends

[Rosie:]
If you don't shut the hell up...

[Randolph:]
Oh, you shut the hell up!

[Rosie:]
Folks trying to get some sleep around here!

[Randolph:]
Yeah? Well, ain't nobody gon' get no sleep

[Rosie:]
Yeah, and why is that?

[Randolph:]
Well, I'ma tell you why, 'cause I got something to show you, Rosie!

[Rosie:]
Yeah, and just what the hell it is you got to show me?

[Randolph:]
Oh... I got something to show you, Rosie, yeah!

[Rosie:]
Aw, to hell with this, I'm going to bed

[Randolph:]
But... but not 'til I show you, Rosie, whoo!

[Rosie:]
What are you doin'?

[Randolph:]
Said I got something for ya!

[Rosie:]
Randolph, I know you better not do what I think you about to do!

[Randolph:]
Said I got something for ya!

[Rosie:]
I don't want it!

[Randolph:]
And I'ma show ya!

[Rosie:]
I'm not gon' look!

[Randolph:]
Here it comes!

[Rosie:]
Lord, I'm about to turn these lights out!

[Randolph:]
No need for that!

[Rosie:]
And why is that?

[Randolph:]
'Cause when I take this here out, this whole room gon' go black!

[Rosie:]
Lord have mercy, you done lost your damn mind

[Doorbell rings]

[Randolph:]
I got you, didn't I?

[Rosie:]
You ain't getting me

[Randolph:]
Didn't I get you?

[Rosie:]
Nope

[Randolph:]
I got you

[Rosie:]
Get the door

[Randolph:]
I got your ass

[Rosie:]
Oh, hell...

[Randolph:]
Oh, hell, is right. Who this ringing my bell?

[Rosie:]
Ever since I called Randolph Mr. Can't-Get-It-Up, he been outta his mind
Walking around the house, grabbing his stuff who does that at 89?!

[Randolph, off-screen:]
Dammit, I'm 69!

[Rosie:]
Aw, shut up and wait your turn! You see what I mean? Got something to show me? Well, ain't nobody trying to see that little thing!

[Randolph:]
Well, first of all, let me tell you about Rosie, and it ain't gon' be much to say
But since we telling the truth, she jealous of me, and that's twenty-four hours a day
She called me Mr. Can't-Get-It-Up, shit, she the one outta her mind
89?! I'm 69, and I can still pump and grind

[Rosie:]
Whoa, whoa, let me get some of this!

[Director, off-screen:]
Ma'am? Ma'am, you're on TV!

[Randolph:]
No, wait a minute, goddamn it, you done already had your turn!

[Rosie:]
Now Randolph, I got something to say!

[Director, off-screen:]
Hello?

[Randolph:]
Yeah, your ass is playing with fire, now you 'bout to get burned!

[Rosie:]
Aw, just scoot your poot-butt ass on over!

[Randolph:]
What? I ain't scooting shit over! You done had your turn!

[Rosie:]
Randolph!

[Randolph:]
Yeah? Ooh, you done messed up!

[Director, off-screen:]
Randolph!

[Randolph:]
You done messed up

[Director, off-screen:]
Security!

[Randolph:]
What?

[Director, off-screen:]
You're on TV, guys!

[Randolph:]
You done messed up

[Director, off-screen:]
Hello? Randolph, please? Rosie?

[Randolph:]
Hmm... I'll chop your ass up! You don't believe me?

[Rosie:]
You...you...

[Director, off-screen:]
Hello?

[Randolph:]
What the hell's gotten into you, Rosie?

[Director, off-screen:]
Hello?

[Rosie:]
Randolph!

[Glass breaks off-screen]

[Randolph:]
Want some of this? Want some of this?

[Rosie:]
Are you crazy, pushing me around like this?

[Randolph:]
Oh, you want some of this, don't ya? You want some...