Making A Choice

(album: Surfacing - 2019)

Melatonin doesn't work anymore
Tired, wired on my back on the floor
Over-thinking thoughts like never before
Analyzing shit that I should ignore
Everybody's gonna know you a fake
Make you think that you can be who you can't
Lay in wait until you make a mistake
Expose you as the fucking phony you play
I don't want to spend my 20's tired, drunk and alone
Justifying why I keep you up all night on the phone
I know say it's cause I love to hear the sound of your voice
But it's more accurate to say it's just more clear than the noise
That I can always kinda hear in spite of all that I do
It's television static playing loud from another room
To which I've never found the door to go and just turn it off
But I can never stop looking for it

I will be, I will be, I will be
I'm making a choice (My strength)
I'm making a choice
I will be, I will be, I will be, my strength

Doesn't matter what you think that you learned
I don't think you get the way that this works
You too dark to ever be in the light
Born too wrong to ever hope to be right
No one gave you the permission to speak
You are not in a position to lead
What would make you think that you tell the truth?
What would make you think that it could be you?
I know I think a lot about my different fears and the shame
Whether I'm black or white enough to win approval or fame
And if I'm checking off the boxes keeping framily pleased
But still relaying things that let 'em know this really is me
If I get old will I think fondly of the things that I did?
Or will I wish that I had never made it out Bradenton
The only way I'll know is seeing this shit through to the end
And being sure to build a family from friends
I'm making a choice

I will be, I will be, I will be
I'm making a choice (My strength)
I'm making a choice
I will be, I will be, I will be, my strength