If It Kills Me

(album: Saints Preserve Us - 2018)

If it kills me, snuffs out the lamp for ever more
Kicks me senseless, leaves me bleeding at your door
At least it won't hurt anymore
Theres a screaming in my head
And a rattling deep inside
And it wasn't the dozen odd jars that I swallowed last night
I just don't feel right
If it rises in my throat and I fall down choking
Just drag me out o'er the old hill
If it kills me... and it probably will

When it comes in ashen robes to claim me in the night
Will you polish my brogues and button my collar down tight
Christ, I must look a sight
When they carry me away don't let 'em hear you cry
Or thanking the saints that I finally fucked off and died
I was leaving anyway
If it snatches me away or it takes me slow
Like cheap liquor and homemade pills
If it kills me... and it probably will

Oh one man's shit is another man's sugar, just leave it outside and you'll see
It's gone the same day though tonight you'll bring someone else's old shit home to me
You squander your favours like a bawdy old sailor and laugh while I beg for the change
Oh, you're cruel and you're strange

Will you see me? Will I cross your room each night?
Or do the sulphurous lamps of this city all burn too bright?
You should really get away
From the concrete and the wire, the long and angry days
Y'know they're hardly the stuff to set your soul ablaze
You've been smouldering for years
If it rips through my veins, tears me flesh from bone
I'll hear the voices of the faithful "You'll never walk alone..."
If it kills me, if you wake and I'm gone
If I'm dust on the wind and you're left to your own
I'll love you... if it kills me
And it probably will