I Love You Boy

(album: SANTIAGO - 2023)

I love you, boy
Run before
They kill you, run
I love you, boy
Run before
They kill you, run (Yeah)

You grew up in a environment that was hostile and got wild
Arguments you heard as a small child had an effect
That left you with a lot to undo
Your first words was screaming at your mom saying, "Fuck you"
Imagine the visual, diaper on, already dealing with the residual
Effects of an explosive father figure was difficult
Mama was miserable, his love felt conditional
You better be perfect, otherwise he'll be hypocritical
Belittle you 'til you nothing, yeah, hurts to listen
Neither parent knew how to regulate the nervous system
That was reactive, mom was fatalistic
No one to protect you, grandfather paid a visit
To take you and your siblings and your mama far away
Twenty-nine years later, she regrets that she stayed
You were doomed from the start, you were hurt and ostracized
There's a wound in your heart, survival mode, you traumatized (For real)

I love you, boy (I love you)
Run before
They kill you, run
I love you, boy
Run before
They kill you, run (Yeah)

The monster you created to protect the kid in you is hard to manage
Supreme confidence, deep crippling insecurity
The damage that's been done is explicit, and abusive and a critic
Nothing that you ever do is really good enough, is it?
You didn't get validation from your dad
So you replaced him with the industry and started to rap
You wanted praise and acknowledgement and picked a profession that
People who look like you don't get, now the range of accomplishments
Being ignored, authoritative outside force
That you, yet again, apparently, aren't good enough for
All fueled you, your need to be liked and feel wanted consumed you
That's why you call a chick every night to come do you
Only to be left feeling less than before
Didn't have the tools to manage stress, you at war
With yourself, you need love
Drinking to forget that being you is not enough
Overcompensating in interviews, tryna prove that you right
Maybe then you'll be liked
Tryna prove you're worthy of approval you weren't shown in your home
I'm sorry that I ever left you all alone

I love you, boy (I'm sorry)
Run before
They kill you, run
I love you, boy
Run before
They kill you, run (Yeah)

You deserve a pat on the back and a round of applause
The sound of this song makes you think I'm not proud, but you wrong
Look how far you took it, international bookings, you gave your family a cushion
And through the hate, you kept pushing
Knew you had people looking up to you, you held your composure
As hell moved close to you, you a soldier, it's a shock that you were ever sober
I never told you how I feel, I apologize
Lot of guys would've folded, I guess I'm not surprised
You prophesized this from the get go
Anything you wanted, went and got it 'cause you said so
Packs of women fighting over you like Shevchenko
Seven figure checks, private jets, your best friends know
Your character, you proved that by sharing your
Successes and blessings, but when you hurt, we hurt
Breakdowns mean that it's time for a rebirth, so
You carried me as far as you could go
Now it's time to say goodbye, before I leave, you should know though, yeah

I love you, boy
Run before
They kill you, run
I love you, boy
Run before
They kill you, run