Moms Are the Bomb

(album: Shut Up! And Listen - 2015)

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home.
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone.
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you.
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.

I remember when I was eight.
my life was going great.
My sister loved snapple there was no debate.
thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank.
Take the plastic of the cap and put it in her drink.
And when she sipped it I saw her start to choke.
I couldn't foresee it'd get caught in her throat.
Her birthday was ruined because of my stupid mistake.
She never drank snapple again and I got all her cake.
Thanks, Mom, for stepping up and saving the day. (you rock)
I didn't want you to find out this way. (love you)
Hey, Mom I did something, That wasn't that cool.
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule.

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home.
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone.
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you.
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.

And when I was fifteen I messed up again.
Trying to impress some girls with my friends.
See, I understand the ladies.
And here was the scoop.
Hot girls can't resist the sight of burning poop.
so I found a dog lured him up the steps.
Tried to feed him X-Lax.
But he wouldn't ingest,
But I didn't stress out I just dealt with the glitches.
I knew what I had to do.
To impress these bitches.
But the fire kept spreading.
it wouldn't stay put.
So my Mama had to step the crap out with her foot.
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool.
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule.

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home.
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone.
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you.
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.
Hey mom (Do do do do do) your the bomb (Do do do do do)
Hey mom (Do do do do do) your the bomb (Do do do do do)

Sorry we hid so many things from you years ago
but here's a couple things you probably should know
I watched porn on the computer when I told you I never did
put a sandwich in the vcr when I was a little kid
I punched a hole in the wall and hid it with a poster
tried to cook a pizza in the mother flippin toaster
thru a big ass party every time you where away
plied to a hot neighbour and told her I was gay
and my fish might of died because I over fed
and I might of done some stuff with a girl in your bed yea

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home.
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone.
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you.
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.
[x2]