Just A Couple More Words

(album: Eraser Shavings - 2016)

First off, I'm sorry to my grandma
I know I said I'd call
I just read your birthday card and hung it on the wall
You are a shining star in my life and I haven't appreciated it
I value our relationship
You are a queen, look at that mirror like you are flawless
I hope you move to Mass so I can see you more often
And we can spend more time together, yeah, I hope you live forever
Thank you for your letter
And I'm sorry to my sister, I know I was supposed to give you a time that you can call me
I saw the picture that you posted up on Twitter, it made me laugh
I was ashamed I never got back to you, that's why I didn't tweet back
I know you're going through a lot, and I respect you
You're like the smartest person who I've ever met too
So, I hope college is going well, I hope you're learning stuff
Just know I care for you so much, I love you

And I ain't got no excuses
I've been selfish, I've been foolish, I'm just trying not to lose myself
And all my talking has been useless
Said that I'm caring and I'm humble but I barely even prove myself
To anyone I ever hurt, to anyone who deserved just a couple more words
I'm sorry
I've been devoured by the power, I'm a coward
I'm through with myself

I'm sorry to my close friends at college who left the state
I promised y'all I would stay in touch, and I felt ashamed
You were my only friends when I didn't have many
I've taken you for granted, recently I've been feeling empty
Steven you've been my closest friend ever since I moved over here
And Andrew you don't even know how much you've helped my whole career
I'd give it all to you dudes, listen that's what's due too
Hit me when you're back so we can kick it like we used to
And I'm sorry to my ex
I hope you know that when I heard how my song affected you I was so sad
You're one of the only girls I ever really bonded with
I was self-conscious and you were the one who gave me confidence
So thank you
And I ain't gonna lie
I still get jealous when I see you with other guys
I love the time we spent together
Some of the only time I spent as a kid
I just wish it didn't end like it did
I'm sorry

And I ain't got no excuses
I've been selfish, I've been foolish, I'm just trying not to lose myself
And all my talking has been useless
Said that I'm caring and I'm humble but I barely even prove myself
To anyone I ever hurt, to anyone who deserved just a couple more words
I'm sorry
I've been devoured by the power, I'm a coward
I'm through with myself

I'm sorry to my mum and dad, I've been embarrassed
'Cause I barely even been a kid, but that don't mean you ain't been parents
I am beyond blessed to have you guys
So supportive with everything, so generous with all the time you sacrificed
Mum I'm sorry that I rush our conversations
Acting like I don't got the patience, that is not how momma raised us
Dad I'm sorry, often you feel left in the dark
I should keep you more updated with connections I start
And I'm sorry to my fans, I'm sorry in advance
If a song or if a chant don't meet all of your demands
My whole life I've dealt with anxiety and feeling cornered
And nothing gets me more anxious than a frustrated supporter
I wish I could respond to all your messages
I wish I could do all your collabs, I wish we could have a friendship
I wish I could fly you out just to show how much it means that you rock with me
I hope that this is my only apology

And I ain't got no excuses
I've been selfish, I've been foolish, I'm just trying not to lose myself
And all my talking has been useless
Said that I'm caring and I'm humble but I barely even prove myself
To anyone I ever hurt, to anyone who deserved just a couple more words
I'm sorry
I've been devoured by the power, I'm a coward
I'm through with myself