Do You Wanna Be Like Dougy Bell?

(album: Idle Gossip - 1986)

Ran over by a bus up the high street
Dougy only feels a tickle in his feet
The driver shouts Oi! Are you alright?
But Dougy's on his way
Dougy then has a little mishap
When a geezer comes along and gives him a slap
Dougy said it's wise that you apologize
Or else you'll face DD-DD-DD-DD-Dougy

Beware, beware, beware, beware
Never never mess with Dougy Bell
Beware, beware, beware, beware
Never never mess with him
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like Dougy?
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like me?
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna be like Dougy

Dougy's getting sick of burglaries
He's changed all the locks and he's bought new keys
He's gonna get the robber no matter what it takes
He's gonna die
Dougy sits waiting with a hammer on his bed
Some dirty rogues gonna get a sore head
Fifteen villains or maybe even more
Ran when they saw DD-DD-DD-DD-Dougy

Beware, beware, beware, beware
Never never mess with Dougy Bell
Beware, beware, beware, beware
Never never mess with him
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like Dougy?
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna be like Dougy

Dougy's in the back room playing pool
He's lost five quid but he keeps his cool
Dougy is a winner he'll not be beat
So the game goes on

Dougie!

Half an hour later when the poolroom's in a wreck
The opposition wraps a snooker cue round Dougy's neck
He began to cry cause he was gonna die
Cause he fooled with DD-DD-DD-DD-D-Dougy

Beware, beware, beware, beware
Never never mess with Dougy Bell
Beware, beware, beware, beware
Never never mess with him
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like Dougy?
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like me?
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like Dougy?
Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be like me?
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna be like Dougy

Dougy Bell!