Grandpa's Last X-Mas

(album: Oi To The World! - 1996)

Mom says, put on your Christmas best.
Grandpa's coming down this year and it might be his last.
Why Mom? You say that every time.
It seems that he's been dying ever since I was nine.

I don't mean no disrespect because he's old and mean.
But how come we invite him when he always makes a scene?

Tell me why does, he hit me with his cane?
And why should I get him a gift if he don't know my name?
How come, he always calls me "Kate"
And forgets his dentures on his dinner plate?

This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what Mother said
Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead, so be nice
Be nice to Grandpa

What can I say to someone 300 years old?
When he seems so content staring at the jello mold
Please Mom, let me go out and play
Or soon I will go deaf like him from hearing him complain

I know, his life's been long and hard
And he deserves some quiet peace in a nice graveyard
Grandpa, I love you just the same
But I know you won't be happy 'til you drive us all insane

This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what Mother said
Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead, so be nice
Be nice to Grandpa
Cause he's old and he smells
And he's gonna die soon
Be nice to Grandpa