Coin Operated Goi

(album: To The Bottom Of The Sea - 2008)

Coin operated goi,
Scary but it's true,
He is not a Jew.
He won't dance the horah,
Won't light the menorah,
And it's not a lie,
He ain't even circumcised.
Oi!
Coin operated goi.

I'm not so sure that he's kosher,
Despite what is in the brochure.
Everything he eats is wrapped in ham.
Plus he tried to pork me in the can.

I should go and ask my Rabbi,
If it's a sin if he and I,
Do it through a small hole in a sheet.
Just big enough to slip my kosher meat.
Groin masticated joy, oh boy!

Coin operated goi,
Can't hang with the Moyles,
He ain't got the curls.
I say we convert him.
It ain't gonna hurt him.
Well, maybe down below,
He will have to undergo,
A groin operation ploy.

His bris we'll perform,
To make his schmuck deformed.
The Moyle gets a dollar,
If he makes him holler.
To make his schmuck more slim,
We'll chop off his foreskin!
Give it to the waiter.
He'll bless it for seder.
We'll nosh on it later.
Oh I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
For Rosh Hashanah.
A coin operated goi, oh boy!

Coin operated goi,
Scary but it's true,
He was not a Jew.
But honestly, no schitzvah,
He had a Bar Mitzvah.
Now he's kosher too.
He just like me and you,
A coin operated Jew!