Chunky

(album: The Cookout Chronicles - 2016)

Rambling man
Pocket aces in the gambling hand
Putting words together hand in hand like an ampersand
The repetition of the talent makes the man a man
Use as evidence the guy who painted all them Campbell's cans
Makes you memorize instinctively it's random fam like (whoa Black Betty)
And you say...
I stay hungry like the wolf in that Duran Duran song
And dance along like I got Hammer pants on
If you haven't noticed I'm the coldest
Smoke freely as if Calvin Broadus was the POTUS
Shut your club down a la Jon Lovitz
And make the boards turn up a la pop shuv its
Event sponsor should be toy machine
The boy is mean
Destroy your dream and turn your team into soylent green
I'll give you something to talk about, sulk about
Go to a short pier and take a long walk about
You ain't heard shit like my sound yet
In fact it's more rare than a dry towelette with the
Numbing effect of a cortisone shot
And that feeling of freedom that made the cordless phone hot
Never par for the course
More like a seminar
A clever bar tour de force
Heavier rotation than the pedals at the Tour de France
Type of merry charmer that rarely garners a poor response
I'm like a dairy farmer when it comes to cheese collection
And I'm like Gary Carter when it comes to beat selection
Catch heaters or hit the upper deck bleachers
My offense and defense are my best features
Never fear, I'm here with the Everclear
Let's all together cheer in the better spirit of yesteryear
I rap like your drunk uncle behaves
And say fuck it I'm going in like spelunkers to caves
Abstract in the fashion of Jackson Pollock
Unexact like the amount of cream in a dollop
I can tell I spit the type of rap that irks you
Makes you uncomfortable like a Catholic church pew
I should ball and have Carnegie Hall clogged like cholesterol on ya artery wall
But I half-heartedly stall
Cats get lazy
Other times cats get bat shit crazy
And I haven't felt this good since my last bender
When I was singing happily like a rapping Glee cast member
If you know who Kenny Powers is you know that fundamentals are the crutches of the talentless
Dingbats ain't getting nothing out of this
I can't even imagine how difficult your challenge is
You tryna catch breaks like cameras in jails
But can't do it due to amateur fails
And it'll only take one bar to bury 'em
Two bars are the beginning of barbarian
Three bars in Vegas and I'm winning it all
Four bars of heavy drinkin's a legitimate crawl
Five bars, psych
Let's just say this fam
I've created more bars than the makers of alprazolam
It's mind boggling
Bitter pill you're swallowing
You and your following are taking L's like Chicagoans
Don't cross me hoping that the memory passes
I remember peoples' asses like a Tempurpedic mattress
Any further questions getting blown off
I'll be in my backyard drinking with my phone off