Gee, Officer Krupke

(album: West Side Story (Original Broadway Cast Recording) - 1957)

[Riff:]
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringing up-ke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!

[Riff & Jets:]
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good!

[Riff:]
There is good!

[All:]
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!

[Snowboy:]
That's a touching good story

[Riff:]
Lemme tell it to the world!

[Snowboy:]
Just tell it to the judge

[Riff:]
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leaping lizards! That's why I'm so bad!

[Diesel (as Judge):]
Right!
Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed!

[Riff:]
I'm disturbed!

[Jets:]
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed

[Diesel (as Judge):]
Hear ye, hear ye! In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home

[Riff:]
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived

[Diesel:]
So take him to a headshrinker

[Riff:]
My father is a bastard
My ma's an S.O.B
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

[Action (as Psychiatrist):]
Yes!
Officer Krupke, you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good hofest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick!

[Riff:]
I am sick!

[All:]
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're sociologically sick!

[Action:]
In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!

[Riff:]
Hey, I got a social disease!

[Action:]
So take him to a social worker!

[Riff:]
Dear kindly social worker
They say go earn some dough
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schmo
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!

[A-Rab (as Female Social Worker):]
Eek!
Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good!

[Riff:]
I'm no good!

[All:]
We're no good, we're no good!
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!

[Diesel (as Judge):]
The trouble is he's lazy

[Action (as Psychiatrist):]
The trouble is he drinks

[A-Rab (as Female Social Worker):]
The trouble is he's crazy

[Diesel:]
The trouble is he stinks

[Action:]
The trouble is he's growing

[A-Rab:]
The trouble is he's grown

[All:]
Krupke, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!