Call For My Name

(album: Pressure Point - 2020)

I'm a day late, I'm in Jeopardy
I'm a namesake, I'm a memory
If I came straight, would you remember me
When the daybreaks let it be
I can't change who I am now
Couldn't change who I was then
I been known to break the gates of fate down
I been known to skate for face to face kin
I been known for few friends small family
Bruised skin through tragedy
My true youth been through a travesty
And made it happily to look back and be
Here welcome my people to Benjamin's regress
Looking for regrets inside of a place that I hope I can egress
I'm trying to be best all the while I been here trying to distress
Looking for defects maybe I'll find em before I go eject
My grandmother been through a hellish endeavor
Made it through weather that many would not have been sure to do better
Her husband would hit her beat her until she could not see the lever
To pull her and sever from everything that she had come to know ever
But she took my father and she took my unk
Fled the Cape from that fucking punk
Single mother working in them London hubs
Never begged hustle for that lunch
Scrap and scraping never giving up
She gave life to dad who gave life to me
Look what we've become

And you may not remember me
Tomorrow when you wake up
I'll just wait to see
If you call for my name
You may not remember me
Tomorrow when you wake up
I'll just wait to see
If you call for my name
If you call for my name

They say my Nan's got memory loss
Body working better than her mind when I call nowadays she barely talks
Sometimes I think she really knows it's me
But then her tone of voice will change
And then she mumbles something only she
Can understand and try to frame
I was on long distance speaking through to Spain
Swore that she was calling out my name
But when I asked her to repeat again
She was riding on a truly different train
I don't know
When the mind's not connected
What perspective do we know
Is she trapped cold walking through the snow
Is she sitting on a beach with every soul that she's ever known or she all alone
I just really can't find out through the phone
But my O says a visit won't be known
So I sit and wonder if she's here or no
What a joke this thing is simply blown
I just pace back and forth try to go
Forward through the things I just can't control
Her body is here but her mind I can't find
I just really wish I could have gotten the time
For giving that queen her proper reply
We love you Valerie Ryan goodbye

And you may not remember
Me tomorrow when you wake up
I'll just wait to see
If you call for my name
You may not remember me
Tomorrow when you wake up
I'll just wait to see
If you call for my name
If you call for my name