Rust

(album: I Want To Feel Chaotic - 2020)

Woah, woah

How do I explain
Or even articulate
That every day that I'm awake
Is a day I fade away
Place chicken scratch to paper
As I scratch inside my temples
For any hatch that resembles
My simple solipsistic question

So here I stand
A hollow man
A broken piece
Of God's great plan

Woah, woah

So I get out of my head
And meet up with my friends
They say, 'Hey dude we missed you
Where have you been?'
But I've been bleeding, I've been bleeding
From all these senseless self beatings
And they scream please believe it
You are needed, you are needed

But when will I know it?
That I am not that piece of shit!
That people look at and they wince and
Throw up a little bit
I am so cold
But they hold me in a way
That makes the pain go away

But I've been slowly building up
My sense of self from dust
I once was just a husk
Rust covered in rust covered in rust covered in rust

In reality, my sanity is hanging by a thread
But if I became balanced would my street cred be in shreds
When my identity is entirely the maniac you see
If I became healthy would I stop being me?

In reality, my sanity is hanging by a thread (Slowly building up)
But if I became balanced would my street cred be in shreds (my sense of self from dust)
When my identity is entirely the maniac you see (I once was just a husk)
If I became healthy would I stop being me? (Rust covered in rust covered in rust covered in rust)

Slowly building up
My sense of self from dust
I once was just a husk
Rust covered in rust covered in rust covered in rust
Well here I stand (here I)
A mouth full of sand (why do I keep eating sand?)
Please could you hold my hand
Stop me eating the sand, stop me feeling so goddamn bad