Holy Smokes

(album: Fast Cars, Danger, Fire And Knives - 2005)

[{background vocals I.e. Aesop Rock} (sampled vocals I.e. NOT Aesop)]

[Intro: Various Samples]
(Give him one of these pills if he has any pain)
(A parable...What is it? Well it's a little story with a lot of truth
An earthly story with a heavenly meaning
Jesus told many parables to grown-ups and children alike
He told them simply and sincerely, in words everyone could understand
So that all might learn the lesson he was trying to teach...)
(Yeah!)

[Verse Intro: Aesop Rock]
They were selfish with the helmets on the little bus
'Till brake fluid sewage crippled up the get-retorted nickel punks
Slowly cope but swore his lowly robot vole evoke
Would one day rise in sections to interrogate the Holy Ghost
(I knew it!)

[Verse: Aesop Rock]
Holy smokes
Father, black suit white collar
Kiddie porn dungeon, guns, and three fingers for your daughter's
Caught belly-up, antique Nazi paraphernalia
You cannot pay your bills with holy water and Hail Mary luck [Oh my!]
Shucks fucker, enjoy the Alcatraz shower fun
And mommy's mad I'm cliche generation X agnostic front
It ain't the nifty fate, the 1958, before the New-New Testament-approved Altar-boy fisting rape
And "take me to your leader"
Long as he don't manipulate toddler beaver [Leave him alone!]
Call me crazy, but I bet that wasn't God's demeanor
Sodom-meter peaking [Me too!]
But Long Island was Jesus every weekend
Spoon-fed to appease traditional love bringing
Of a Middle Pennsylvania shit-hole where elders movement
Stressed the stellar therapeutic Bible cycle (How?)
One church with a bait and tackle store next door and not much MORE
So the two moved to New York, made babies raised on what they SAW
Christmas morning smelled fresher than angel pussy
But immaculate conception came second to playful goodies
Like laser-tag was way more spiritual than blood and body wafer bags
And manger staff as long as Santa ate the cookies [Well...]
Grandma was a saint, while he'd paint with snakes and bullies
Said If only you'd memorized your prayers like you did your Kool Gs
By the time I was old enough to know what religion was
I was Catholicism-numb and truly didn't give a [FUCK!]
'94: Moved out the crib and it ain't seen a steeple since
What Knievel-evil seeps in a Christian leader's pitch
'Till priests' laps slapped with parental advisory warnings
I'll be auditioning Gods in my office on Monday morning

[Chorus: Various Samples & Aesop Rock]
(Yeah!) [Scratched throughout chorus]

Uh oh! And yet another pill slipped
Down the hatch and pass 'em through the kill-switch

I need a couple A's for Q's
I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused

[Interlude: Sampled]
(This story reminds us of the one Jesus told about people who were kind and helpful
To others. He said that one day the king would say to these people
Come. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food
When I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me
But the people asked, when Lord did we see you hungry and feed you?
Or sick or in prison and come to you? and the king answered
In as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren
You have done it unto me)
(Yeah!)

[Chorus: Aesop Rock]
Just a little bruise in the back of the pews
Acting amused with a mask and them Vatican blues
For in the eyes of the organization I was raised in
Aes' is just another sinning brick in Hell's basement
Cubicle adjacent to the killers and rapists
For what? Drugs and fucking, It's part of growing up
Like cuffs over dumb shits is better than the schools
I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused
Just a lit fuse in the back of the pews
Watching a thousand flavors of the same God feud
I figure ultimate-peace is the common theme
So its a no-brainer "peace" when the blood hit the screen
Got a basic good and evil sensibility born
Good neighbor know a halo wouldn't fit over horns
I'm more science than faith, I'm more karma than bread and booze
I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused
Not an asshole I'm just a little confused
Not an asshole I'm just a little confused
Not an asshole I'm just a little confused

(You know what, Aesop, to be completely honest you're a fucking asshole)