Smoked Out Santa

(album: Big Freedia's Smokin Santa Christmas - 2020)

Ooh, it's Christmas again, girl
Ooh, child, it's Christmas again, girl, the best time of the year
Ooh, child
Ooh, it's a little chilly
You cold? I'm cold, girl
Did you get the weed?
Bitch, where is the weed, Miss Thing, girl? (Ooh, that's strong)
Where is the tree?

Oh, Christmas trees, oh, Christmas trees
I break you down and grind it
Oh, Christmas trees, oh, Christmas trees
I roll you up and light it

I hope you brought the lighter
Girl, oh my god
Oh, you brought it
Did I ever tell you that time?
No, you didn't tell me
'Bout with me and Santa, we got high, bitch
What happened?
Did I ever tell you that?
Tell me everything, girl

I had the midnight munchies so I went downstairs
I went for Santa's cookies that I had left there
I baked these special, they were handled with care
I hope that Santa like 'em and I wanted to share
But my munchies were so strong, next thing I knew they were gone
I looked at my plate, there were nothing but crumbs
I heard a loud noise, it was coming from my chimney
Is it really Santa or is someone out to get me?
And what to my bloodshot eyes would appear
Santa in my house grinning ear to ear

He so happy
Girl, tell me was he Black, bitch?
Yes, Miss Thing, he was black, blacker than ever

Holy shit, I ate your cookies but I rolled us a blunt
We can spark it in the sleigh or at the crib if you want
I got goodies, I got swishers, I got papers, I got raws
Let me grab a lighter, no, I won't tell Ms. Claus
He said, "Ho, ho, ho
Let's get high, high, high"
We get on the sleigh to take a ride (You ready?)
He pulled out his whip as I lit the blunt
He say "Dancer," he say "Prancer
Y'all can do what you want
Rudy, lead the troops 'cause we gon' cruise for a while"
Then he turned to me like, "Pass the weed, my child"
He hit the shit so hard then he started to choke
I said, "Santa, take it easy, we got plenty of smoke
I got indica, sativa and even moon rocks (What you smoke?)
Santa, let me take you to my favorite spot"

Where you gonna take him?
Girl, where did you take him?
Bitch, please tell me where you took Santa
Ooh, I heard his stomach growling, girl

Now we swerving through the hood, we done smoked ten blunts
I heard his belly growling, I say, "Santa, what you want?"
He said, "Ho, ho, ho, I'm so high, high, high
It really don't matter, just wanna get by"
I'ma take you to some food 'cause I know it's finger licking
We went to Manchu, we got the five minute chicken
He said, "Son, this food is off the chain (So good)
I can't wait 'til we smoke again"
Then we rolled, then we choked, then we smoke some mo'
I say, "Santa, are you high?", he say, "You already know"
Then I laughed and I laughed, I say, "Santa, stop playing"
But next Christmas Eve you know where I'm staying

I got the weed, I got the trees
I'll see you next year, Santa (See you later)
I got the weed, whatever you need
I got so high with Santa

Girl, he was, I was like, ho, ho, ho
When I tell you I was high, high, high
Girl, I didn't wanna tell Santa bye, bye, bye
Girl, this was the best night of my life
Bitch, I was smoking with Santa
That was legendary, bitch

Oh, Christmas weed, oh, Christmas weed
I wanna smoke and light it
Oh, Christmas weed, oh, Christmas weed
I wanna smoke and light it
Oh, where's the weed? We got the weed
We roll it up and light it
Oh, where's the weed? We got the weed
We roll it up and light it