Redemption Denied

(album: Spit My Last Breath - 1997)

You know sometimes when I get up in the morning
I don't know if I can face another day
Because shit's been so fucking hard for so fucking long
And it don't seem like shits ever going to change
Sometimes it seems like the shit ain't doin nothing but getting worse
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I really despise at what I see
'Cause pride, strength, honor, love and life
They don't seem to have a lot to do with me
Feels like something went wrong with me a long time ago
Something inside me way deep down died
And I can't remember when
I just don't know where the fuck I went wrong

What's life but a river of tears anyway, huh?

Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For away to make my way through this world full of shit
Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit

I've got nothing left
I await for the angel of death
I've lost too many times
Too many times to count the pain is so great

Let me tell you something, rock bottom is a sweet fucking dream
A myth made up by a liar who's despair is a void you can slip into forever
I've been as low as you can go and I guess here at the bottom
The only place you can go is up
But everytime I get ahead everytime I start to get somewhere
It's seems like someone or something knocks me the fuck back down
One step forward, two steps back
I read somewhere "without hope, man is but an animal"
I think I've lost hope

I've got nothing left
I await for the angel of death
I've lost too many times
Too many times to count the pain is so great

I'm so fucking tired of being fucked up all the time
But I can't seem to do it any other way
Maybe I'm not as strong as you
But sometimes my fucked up life
It brings me down when I look around
My life it didn't make me hard
It just hardened something deep down inside of me
I think it was my humanity
I want it back, I want to feel normal again, I wanna feel like a human
I don't wanna be like this no more
I'm just looking for some shelter of salvation
Or something to believe in or maybe just, just someone who cared

I've got nothing left
I await for the angel of death
I've lost too many times
Too many times to count the pain is so great
I never asked for life
I wish that at birth I had died
I tried to drown this hate
Death will be the cure for all this pain

Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit
Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit

I've got nothing left
I await for the angel of death
I've lost too many times
Too many times to count the pain is so great
I never asked for life
I wish that at birth I had died
I tried to drown this hate
Death will be the cure for all this pain

Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit
Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit

I've got nothing left
I await for the angel of death
I've lost too many times
Too many times to count the pain is so great
I never asked for life
I wish that at birth I had died
I tried to drown this hate
Death will be the cure for all this pain

Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit
Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit

There's nowhere to turn, everyone betrays you
I can't trust anyone and I'm so fucking paranoid
I'm always waiting for the fall, for the let down
It's just no way for sure
I can't remember when a day's gone by
That I haven't thought about taking myself out
I know I ain't shit and I know I ain't ever be shit
I've got no future
But I think I can deal with it, I think I can live
If I can just look at one person
And see them smile at me and know that they meant it

Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit
Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit

Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit
Every day
Each fucking day I pray
I pray to a god that I know does not exist
For a way
Some fucking way
Some day
For a way to make my way through this world full of shit