never got better

(album: healing hurts - 2023)

Please
Don't ask me
How I've been doing
'Cause I don't wanna lie to you

I've felt like me
The last few weeks
But if I start talking
I'll think about the shit I've been through
Then I'll be knee deep in those
Feelings I've been
Trying so hard to escape

But oh god, now it's too late
Suddenly I'm right back in it
Shaking and scared to death
I feel it
Pounding up in my chest
One second

Step back, and I just can't
Hold it together
I'm back re-living
Trying to catch my breath
I miss it
End up back in my head

My prison, hope I'm not on the edge
Like this forever
Cuz every time that I remember
It's like I never got better at all

At square one, and it takes months
Until I feel normal
And one day if I scroll back too far
The photos put me in those

Feelings I've been trying so hard to escape
But oh god, now it's too late

And suddenly I'm right back in it
Shaking and scared to death
I feel it
Pounding up in my chest
One second
Step back, and I just can't
Hold it together
I'm back re-living

Trying to catch my breath
I miss it
End up back in my head
My prison, hope I'm not on the edge
Like this forever

Cuz every time that I remember
It's like I never got better at all

Ahhhhhhhhh

10 steps backwards without a warning
Push it down till I can't ignore it
Crying on the floor
I've been here before

Suddenly I'm right back in it
Shaking and scared to death
I feel it
Pounding up in my chest
One second
Step back, and I just can't
Hold it together
I'm back re-living

Trying to catch my breath
I miss it
End up back in my head
My prison, hope I'm not on the edge
Like this forever

Tryna keep on getting better
Moving forward even if I might fall
But every time that I remember
It's like I never got better at all