All These Engagements

(album: Hollywood Park - 2020)

They say it's so much better to have loved and lost
Than to have lived in a bubble never knowing the cost
Of a broken heart like a loaded gun, it scares everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone
Tells me the same thing every day: "You're wasting your time, just wasting away
There's a hole in your heart. Just go fill it with love"
But what is love? What is love? What is love?

What is this thing I've been told since thirteen years old
Where you feel understood, undeniably good?
It's a stain on your sneaker, a hole in your speaker
A feeling apart when you've emptied your heart

She's at the upstairs windowpane
As the young boy cries in the rain
She'll never know the power she wields
As the thunder falls on his ears
And he tells himself, "Never again"

All these engagements and lover's spit
As they grasp at a future and promise it
Will be joyful and fruitful, "We're better as two"
And I cried too, I cried too, I cried too, I cried
Hoping you'd hear me and see right through
All the endless denial I gave to you
I was childishly hoping you'd pull me through
I want it too, want it too, want it too

I want it to change me and lift me explain me and give me
A moment of time less alone in my mind
When I felt so strange you would hold me and say
"I'm stranger Than you can imagine. It's true

And I'm yours and I'm yours and I'm here
And I swear there's nothing to fear"
So the young woman lies on the bed
While the young man hears lies in his head
And there's no one there and nothing left to be said

All these engagements and lover's spit
All these engagements and lover's spit
All these engagements and lover's spit
They grasp for it. They beg for it
They smother it and cling to it
All these engagements and lover's spit
All these engagements and lover's spit
All these engagements and lover's spit
They grasp for it. They beg for it
They smother it and cling to it
...

Love is kind
Love is fair
Love is real
Love is true

I was wrong
I held on
I waited for you
To be whole
...