Crossed Fingers

(album: Coexistence - 2016)

Living day by day with remorse
But I try to push it to the back of my mind
My hands are shaking, I can't resist no more, I can't fight back
Brick by brick, step by step, stick by stick
Look at me, what have I become?
From time to time I feel like everything in me is dead
Do you know what it's like to sleep forever
Endless thoughts, blinded by drugs, numb the pain, it never stops

I say it's the last time
And cross my fingers behind my back (for myself)
No regrets for a long time
And all my habits, my habits will come back (will come back!)
Lift my glass to the end of the past
Back to the start because time runs too fast
Forcing myself to breathe
I see myself but it's not really me
My enemy is me
Lie to myself, hope everyday again that I lose my selfproduced pain
I try to leave this cage inside and refuse to listen to the voice in my head

Got to lose my craving (for more!)
I need to get out of this
Forever bound, forever in chains
(Forever bound!)
I have to live forever with this shadow on my face
It was never gone and I guess it will never go away
I can't decide which way to take to find my bliss
There's no light I can follow, no god I can believe in
Please help me out of this

(What, what)

I take my last hit before I get sick
Please help me out of this

I say it's the last time
And cross my fingers behind my back (for myself)
No regrets for a long time
And all my habits, my habits will come back (will come back!)
Tear me down and let me drown
Tomorrow (I promise) I'll break up
But only tomorrow

I don't want to chase the dark clouds anymore (anymore!)
Break free
I try to escape from this cage and turn the next page
I walked these cold streets all by myself, so the last steps I'll cope under my own steam
No dreams at night only daydreams (oh!)

I tried to hide it from the ones I love but I can't pretend anymore (anymore!)
I can't hide anymore
Break, break free