Many Moods Part 5

By 27 I thought I'd be in my element,
But things ain't going well I guess it's evident,
I thought that I'd seen everything,
And then Trump became President,
Life's a lot of surprises,
Although I'm not the type that would like it, it's just what life is,
I'm feeling tired and even now as I write this,
I'm struggling to sleep every time that I close my eyelids,
Been fighting thoughts and second guessing a lot,
For the first time in my life I started questioning God,
And I ain't saying that I've never been wrong,
But if he's there, why don't he ever respond?
Maybe I'll never know,
Either I go mad or better I let it go,
I watch the news and I see Hell on earth,
But I'm still looking for Heaven though,
As I say this I remember,
Words he told me from early November,
He said he's my provider, even though I ain't a spender,
He laid a path out for me I just gotta enter,
I'm so quick to forget,
All the things that he said like I been hit in the head,
I flicker like a flame and then I fidget again,
Switching lanes, spitting pain when I pick up a pen,
My best friend's mother died,
And to me she was mother-like, plus many other guys,
A smile brighter than the summer time,
Heart bigger than the sun that shines,
Hard hitting, can't figure why it had to happen,
Even if there was an answer there's no satisfaction,
Still I'm back to rapping,
Back to going back to back with whoever's in fashion,
The spitter with the newest name is the latest attraction,
They say play the game but I been hating the acting,
It's hard to handle they're misinterpreting my passion,
Misinterpreting my passion,
I'm sick of trying to get a reaction.