A Suicidal Failure

(album: Movies For The Blind - 2002)

Remember how good things used to be?
(Although I seem.. and appear..)
Remember how good things everything used to be?
(..to the naked eye to be normal..)
It used to just be so good
It used to just be me and this girl;
(..thoughts grow haunted inside my head)
yeah, right.. rrright!
(..then strike! Pull out my naked eye and with this..
my mask of sanity's about to slip!)

Sittin in my room with a razor blade
Thinkin all my days are played as much as my single needs to fade away
Shoot myself in the arm and start bleedin
Don't wanna go yet, stick a straw in my wound and taste my heart beatin
Fuckin bitch left me and I ain't even peaked yet
(Fuck all that noise playboy, this leak's wet)
Smoke a bundle to the face lace my brain and neurons
Carvin all my downfalls into my fuckin forearm
(Cage snap out of this, it's just a girl)
It's just the world, it's just a life, it's just a rusty Rambo knife
wedged between my ribs scratchin my heart up tonight
I'm gonna pull this shit off in front of all my friends
Went swimmin under the Brooklyn Bridge tryna catch the bends
Didn't swim deep enough my head imploded ten percent
Floated to the surface, the paramedic's like what's this stench?
(I want everybody to back up, he's still alive)

[Chorus x2]
I'm a suicidal failure, look my life's a failure
I can't make it in rap because my birth's an error
Do what I can to catch a quick death
but I'm meant to be here and that's the fuckin hell I live with

Took the phone off the hook, ate multi-colored pills
Washed it down with Absolut and started writin out my will
Give my dawg bootlegs PS2 and DC
To my girl who left me when she said, "Pick me or PCP"
Since I love to smoke I thought it was a joke
Tried to hang myself and I fell free from the rope
Broke both my arms, my neck smashed my femur
Got up somehow and limped in front of a beamer
Cracked my rib cage, look what you did Cage, you're dying
but I'm not dead yet I'm still trying
Cut my wrist and walked past some crips bleedin red
in hopes that I get shot in the fuckin head

[Chorus]

I drank a bottle of Jack, sniffed three bottles of kitty
In the middle of the freeway walkin to the city
So much PCP I changed my name to watermouth
Pumpin Masta Ase I walked into a jewish (Slaughtahouse)
Throw myself on the hook, now that's the chorus
Got split from my neck to my dick, now that's what poor is
Hollow man look at all my dangling parts
Dropping to the gutter with a piece of you in my heart
Little piece of shit that I couldn't fling from my chest
Should of stayed alive long enough to kill the fag you're with
but right now, my skin is gettin stripped off
Each one of my limbs is ripped off covered in thick sauce
My head hits the conveyer, I'm not thick[?] and a prayer is sick
I'm wacthin a movie at Loewe's alone and you suckin some guy's dick
Six seconds left when I die I'm gonna find her
on some Poltergeist shit while my face goes through the grinder

[Chorus]