Front Row

(album: Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie - 1998)

I know he's blood but you can still turn him away
You don't owe him anything

Do you go to the dungeon
To find out how to make peace
With your days in the dungeon?
Writing a letter to you
Didn't make me feel any more peaceful
Than how I felt when we weren't speaking
Because I didn't cop to what I did
I can't love you 'cause we're supposed to have professional boundaries
I'd like you to be schooled and in awe
As though you were kissed by God
Full on the lips

I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you
See you, close up

[Background chorus:]
I'm too tired to recount the unpleasantries
One by one minute, I want to banish you
The next I want to be on a deserted island
With you, along with my three favorite CDs
Ambivalent, yet in your bed, we've yet to acknowledge what really happened

Slid into the ditch
I have this overwhelming loss of ambition
We said, "Let's name thirty good reasons
Why we shouldn't be together"
I started by saying things like "You smoke", "You live in New Jersey"
You started saying things like "You belong to the world"
All of which could have been easily refuted
But the conversation was hypothetical
I am totally short of breath for you
Why can't you shut your stuff off?

I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you
See you, close up

[Background chorus:]
And I laughed until my lungs hurt
I love how you bust my chops
You don't always feel seen
Sometimes you feel erasable
Unfortunately, I cannot reciprocate in my current state
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together

For a while while I'm speaking
You know how much you hate to be interrupted
Maybe spend some time alone
Fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always have to be about you
I've been wanting your undivided attention
I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your charmed life seemingly?

I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you
See you, close up

[Background chorus:]
You never meant to be ungrateful
Nor held up to be whipped or wept for certainly
Not analyzed, prodded at more ways than one
Apparently you've been misrepresented
Dealing with the concept of arrows being slung
Towards your outrageous fortune

Hey, I'm not mad at you guardian
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your Jekyll and Hydeness
I'm glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh and said, "Come here, let me clip your wings!"
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away, you don't owe him anything)
"Raise the roof" he yelled, "Yeah, raise the roof!", I yelled back
(Unfortunately you needed a health scare to re-prioritize)
No thanks to the soap box
Having me rile against them won't make an ounce of difference

I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you
See you, close up

[Background chorus:]
Oh the things I've done for you
Many a stitch a friend a man's been left for you
Oh the books I've read for you
The tongues I've bitten for you
Many a new city for you
Many a risk taken for you
Not a single regret