To Feel This Way

A million stars were circling
In the world above my head
As I drifted back in memory
To all the things we said
Turning my attention
To the pain that I denied
It was never my intention
To ever say goodbye

Maybe I could have won this war
Maybe I could have changed
If only wisdom courted me
And not this fear and shame
The ties that bind and bless the soul
Have bound me up in chains
Your love cuts through my weakened heart
And memories twist the blade

I thought of you and nothing more
I needed nothing else
I cried the day you left me
I should never have allowed myself to feel this way

I wonder where you sleep at night
I wonder where you've been
I envy all your family
I envy all your friends
The answer looms in front of me
And though I cannot see
I believe in ancient promises
I believe that I am free

But love comes as a great offense
Like innocence betrayed
I don't think you'll recognize me
On the other side of day
But then I never felt this way

A million eyes were watching
From the world above my head
And I swear they saw right through me
And the lie that I had led
The stranger enters quietly
He braves the heat and cold
Through a deep dark haunted passageway
That leads into the soul

Let no one be mistaken
Death makes memories of us all
It's the purpose that confounds me
I should never have allowed myself to feel this way