Face First

(album: I've Been Tearing Myself Apart - 2014)

I failed myself
Again today
Liar, liar
It's always been that way
I fell face first
while I was over thinking
Cloud my mind again
Block it all away
Insecure and undeserving
Of all the love
you were reserving
Negative and assuming
I'm numbing myself
just to keep quiet

I couldn't commit
When it knew all along
it would end up like this
I won't pretend
That I don't want all my secrets back

My own reflection
won't look me in the eyes
Cause it knows
who I could've been
But you killed him
you killed him

I tried to change for you
Faked a smile and attitude
I never wanted it to be like this
I never wanted to feel a fucking thing

I lost the key
to purposely
Keep everything locked away inside of me
Still question myself
Still hating myself
Still everything I deserve

Another blow to the head
Slapped in the face
by the things that you said
This curse burns infinite
Bound by the chains
anchored in my head

And so it begins
every single good thing will come to an end
Nothing ever lasts when every light in my path is burned out by my past