A Forever Recovery

(album: Seasonal Depression - 2014)

While everyone's sleeping in their bed
I'm wide awake lost in my head
I'm so fucking tired and out of breath
And it's been like this ever since you left
I was always more careless than careful
Losing grips on things I cared for
My body's tired and these eyes are sore
Forever drifting while you're safe ashore

While everyone's smug with second best
I'll bandage these wounds inside my chest
Been carrying the weight of the world and just can't do it anymore
It's impossible to be invincible
In a world that's so deceitful
But I just keep pretending that never sinking is believable

Well I've been down and I've been out
But this is something I've never felt
The letters and the promises you've sent
Have only brought me hell

I'm breaking up the cycle of letting you pull me down
Can you feel the ground shake it caves from your weight
Empty promises can't save you now
The clarity of your voice has since turned to white noise and static
It seems my outline and your scant design weren't meant for this schematic

I've become numb to what's come undone (Your world is so very small)
Your secondhand stories like sun before morning (A silent curtain call)
Lost the shine that lit up your eyes (I won't be around)
Your brightest words are your boldest lies (When it all comes crashing down)

You've left me short on breath I'm speechless
Clinging to the only air I still have left
Avoiding death
I can feel the room getting smaller and closing in

Well I've been down and I've been out
But this is something I've never felt
The letters and the promises you've sent
Have only brought me hell

I'm breaking up the cycle of letting you pull me down
Can you feel the ground shake it caves from your weight
Empty promises can't save you now
The clarity of your voice has since turned to white noise and static
It seems my outline and your scant design weren't meant for this schematic

What hurts the most isn't the fact that our lives changed
It's how I've become so obsolete but I'll thrive from what remains
I've always been an open book letting you skim through every chapter
Now the pages are finally closed, a catalyst for your disaster

Well now you're down. The one that's out
And this is something you've never felt
With these words I've helped myself
Grow inside and out of doubt
And I know this brings you hell

I finally broke the cycle of letting you pull me down
Can you feel the ground shake it caves from your weight
Empty promises can't save you now
The clarity of your voice has since turned to white noise and static
It seems my outline and your scant design weren't meant for this schematic

Was I the needle in your arm the reason for your bad habit
Or were those empty words of a withdrawing addict
When the drugs are gone I hope one thing remains
I pray my voice still echoes through your veins