Kimochi Warui (When?)

(album: How To Leave Town - 2014)

Hey Will, why don't you cut the shit
and tell me who you're fighting for?
if you're not taking care of yourself
then what are you here for?
I used to think there was an answer
in the music of my youth
but I just read Brian Wilson's biography
and now I know the truth
because his father never loved him
and the band just wanted money
and Dennis was an alcoholic
(who drowned looking for treasure)
and everyone that Brian turned to
(just gave him drugs and took his money)
he was dependent on social acceptance
(just like every other human)
And now I've got no one to pray to
and I've got nowhere to stay the night
and it's hard to be here at all
and I am torn between
trying to be a better man
and trying to accept the man I am
I have no faith in life
to leave me satisfied
I'll have my fears and worries
until the day I die
and I will not go to heaven
and I will not go to hell
I have no faith in death
to be anything at all

I feel sick
I don't feel well
What a disgusting feeling
I don't like this feeling
How disgusting
This feeling sucks

some of these things are symptoms
and some of these are being human
and I am torn between
trying to be a better man
and trying to accept the man I am
The people that I've talked to
and the books that I've read
and the TV shows and movies that I've seen
are all I have to turn to
to learn how to live
but when? When? When? When?
When? When? When will I ever learn?