Fluorescents

(album: Where I Go When I Am Sleeping - 2018)

Does it help if I say that I'm sorry?
I know the burning in my blood has made you worry a lot
Like the medicine they gave me that hurt me
If you leave when I'm sleeping could you turn the lights off?
My eyes ache if I wake up bathing in fluorescence
It's hard to shake the phosphenes and iridescence
When intravenous makes me feel heavy
As frail as glass, I'm fading fast, I think that I'm ready to leave

So give me one good reason to believe I'm getting better
My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember
The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood
I'm so sick of feeling alone

But I can't stop thinking about
Every time that you'd leave me alone in the house
And I'd lay in my bed, suffocating with doubt
Over whether I'd manage to function without
Having you there to make sure I take what they gave me
To kill off the pain that I'm going through daily
In every way that I am strong, I am also weak
For all the words my lungs have birthed
I struggle to speak
To you about anything
That makes me feel like a burden

Does it hurt you if I say I can feel the decay?
In a hospital bed I wither away
Behind the curtains I've been crying almost every night
I don't want to ache like this for the rest of my life

So give me one good reason to believe I'm getting better
My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember
The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood
I'm so sick of feeling alone