Asshole

(album: Homegrown - 2011)

Don't say that shit, baby

Yeah, okay, I know it, I'm an asshole
Yeah, real talk, tryna put that in my past though
I look at life through this glass do'
See myself sitting quiet in the last row
And yo, I swear I'm moving mad slow
Sick and tired of the lies and the fast hoes
She told me, "What the fuck was that fo'?"
Open wounds on my heart got me mad closed
But yo, I swear I ain't a bad soul
Just a little bit lost on this bad road
And now I'm losing all I had, yo
And since you gone, I been on in the lab, so
Please listen, 'cause if I can't ride you
Then I'ma need rhythms, and if I can't slide through
To apologize 'cause you ain't tryna hear my shit
Hit more than twelve shots, this isn't Columbine
And you shooting to kill, swear it's hard times
Being 'round these bitches when you used to the real
And they all just so fake in the face, stay straight
But you got me rather bent out of shape
Tell me when you coming back home, don't say never
'Cause, shit, I'll be out here waiting forever
Know I could've been better, you my eyes to God
Always bring me to the place where your eyes reside
Tell what all of these hoes is worth
Ain't shit when yo' ass sit alone in the dirt
Yeah, my mind is gone, I'm blowing this purp
And you ain't picking up my phone calls
And when you do, it's just a long pause
The silence killing my soul, it's like violence
Both on our own, it's like islands
Yeah, we separated, it's devastating
Too many things on my mind, busy meditating
Thinking a lot, bad coping, so I'm drinking a lot
You know how it is, sink in the spot
I realized, without strings attached, we could support nothing
Was just another of my shortcomin's
I spent days tryna figure why I ain't
In accordance with the lines of my fate
Playing God, but ain't playing on the parts that I hate
Now I'm knowing my position, but the time is too late
See, the apple ain't ever fell far from the tree
Shit, my father was a liar, so I know that there's a liar in me
But that's not what I desire to be, gotta believe me
Shit, I'm begging you to stay, still you leave me
But fuck it, I guess I deserve it, I'm rugged
And my luggage was these hoes and not loving
And now I'm busy tryna change
But you won't accept change, so I guess it all remains the same
And I'm guessing that I can't complain, I started it
Move loose in position, now I'm departing it
I put my heart in it, now it's coming all back
But it ain't the same condition and it's all black
Don't know why I love these hoes, 'cause you different
But I'm looking at results the same, so they isn't
I'm just feeling like I'm caught in a chain, this a prison
I am locked behind bars of the brain
You just throw away the key like it's nothing
I thought we was s'posed to be something
If we ain't s'posed to be, then fuck it
There's nothing more that I could advise
I'm just telling you the truth now, sick of getting stuck in the lies
I'm a liar on the outside, fine on the inside
A lot of pain, but my pride leave you pint sized
Maintained through the trials and the hard times
Still I realize that yo' mind was a hard find

And so was mine
Yo, but I guess it's in the past though
For what it's worth, I know that I'm an asshole