Two Ton Tessie

(album: Have A Smile With Me - 1964)

Down in Nashville, Tennessee (oh yeah)
There's a sight you oughta see (oh yeah)
But as long as you can't get down there
I'll tell you all, so listen to me

There's a girl named Tessie Town (oh yeah)
And she weighs about four hundred pounds (oh yeah)
She's fat and fair, but she don't care
'Cause the boys all hang around

They call her Two Ton Tessie from Tennessee
Holds ten sweeties up on her knee
When she does, all the fun begins
When they play tennis on her double-chin

They all answer to her demands
And bring her tires for wedding bands
Well, I just got a little inside tip
They promised her a nightclub on her hip
Yeah, Two Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee
(She's from Tennessee)

(Every time she struts around) Uh-huh
(She puts on an extra pound) Is that right?
(But it doesn't seem to worry her)
(The weight is making Tessie reknowned)

(Is a-trying to reduce)
(And she's got a good excuse)
(Fat and fair, but she don't care)
('Cause the boys all hang around)

(They call her) Two Ton Tessie from Tennessee
Goes in swimming up to her knee
Once she went in to her neck
The tide rose up and made the town a wreck

She was hit on the railroad track
Engines hit her and bounced right back
Her appendix had to come out fast
They couldn't operate, so they had to blast
On Two Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee
(She's from Tennessee)

On a streetcar I heard 'em say
Six men gave her a seat one day
All the baseball players have stopped their gym
They run around Tessie just to stay in trim
Two ton Tessie from Knoxville, I mean a-Memphis
Oh-ah, Nashville, Tennessee

(She's from Tennessee)
A-that's right!