Cells & Scales (Skit)

(album: Before Shit Got Weird - 2022)

-Damn, bro, my, my phone ain't even working, your shit work?
-My shit cool
-Yeah, my shit ain't even got no signal, the time's all scrambled, the date is all scrambled
-It might be one of your little hacker hoes
-Shit, if you see a little, a little store or something, I'ma go get a replacement, bro
-Oh, I got you
-I see sum, I see something down the street, they got like a little cellphone light on the top, a little neon sign. What does it say? Darnell's and scales
-Danrell's, look at Darnell Jones, they got a cellphone store
-I guess, let's go check it, let me see if I can get a replacement and then we can get back on our way 'cause this shit acting weird

-Damn! This place is crazy
-Hello? Anybody working here right now? I need a new phone
-Yeah, I'm coming
-Hello?
-I said, yeah, I'm coming, alright, now, aye, now welcome to Daniel's cells and scale, I'll sell your flip phone, I'll tell you to get on, man, what can I do for ya?
-Shit, now, I appreciate you, bro, yeah, basically my phone is... my WiFi not working the 5G not working
-5G? I'm not sure what that is
-Can't connect to any social media or nothing like that...
-No, I'm not familiar with none of that
-So I think it's scrambled, I need to get a replacement so show me what y'all got in stock
-Yeah, I'm not familiar with none of that, but I can show you what we got back here, we got a quite a few options, man, what you looking for? Matter fact, I'll show you the whole [?].

I got cells and scales if you wanna buy yourself a phone
I got [?] two year [?] for you, and taking that bitch right home
I got a [?] phone, yeah, type it in, [?] (Oh shit!)
I got scales in case you wanna sell some weed
I got the digital ones and the old ones that got the batteries

-Well, okay, Darnell, big homie, thank you for that, so...
-Yeah, oh, no problem
-I'ma just go somewhere else and try to find a phone, I don't know if you guys got what I need here, but thank you though, I appreciate it.
-Alright now, good luck to you now
-Nigga!

"Cells and Scales, 951995, Obamanem parkway, at the corner of Tyson street and Given's boulevard, right by the Amazon funeral home and sweets, right by the Montell "This is how we do it" gym and fitness club. Yep, right there.