JAP Battle (Reprise)

(album: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Season 4) - 2019)

[AUDRA:]
All of our lives you were toxic
Obnoxious
Now though, you've brought me from nauseous to naches
I'm proud of you, Bunch
You're a grown-up, you got this
Kol hakavod, you're a goddess

[REBECCA:]
Me?!
But you're so responsible
Career's on sizzle
Husband, ditto
Three great kiddos
You've got competence, class
Plus a skinny-ass waist
And a toned-ass ass

[AUDRA:]
Well, you've got a free spirit, which I see and commend
So, like 2 Chainz without the "NZ" at the end
I wish you double chai
For following the tug
Of your heart behind you 36 triple-D jugs

[REBECCA:]
Wow, what a boost for my confidence!

[AUDRA:]
Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it up
I'm pretty good at giving compliments

[REBECCA:]
Nice bubble, Bubbeleh, I really hate to pop it
But nobody's got a plaudit any hotter than I drop it

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
This is...

[AUDRA:]
A JAP praise fight

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
Half affirmation

[REBECCA:]
Half cage fight

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
Killing you with kindness

[AUDRA:]
Yeah, you're dang right

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
It's a head-to-head yasher koach mazel tov off

[REBECCA:]
You know what?
Let's squash it, you're awesome

[AUDRA:]
Seconded! Same!
Rebecca-wise, my game recognize game

[REBECCA:]
Thanks, I appreciate that

[AUDRA:]
Yeah, I mean, there's a reason I'm called "Esteem queen Levine"

[REBECCA:]
Can it with the accolades-slash-shade-catapulting
You are the one who is great at adulting
All you hard work, ultimately resulting in triumph

[AUDRA:]
Damn, that's some sneaky insulting
Skip the emotional judo
I am the B. Knowles-Carter of kudos

[REBECCA:]
I'm the Lebron James of acclaim

[AUDRA:]
Then you might as well call me the Michelle of the kvell

[REBECCA:]
Go to hell!

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
This is...

[AUDRA:]
A JAO cheer scrimmage

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
Like a rap battle

[REBECCA:]
But the mirror image

[AUDRA & REBECCA:]
Both of us'll feel great

[AUDRA:]
When we're finished

[REBECCA:]
Giving a dope-slap of dap to this JAP...

Which does stand for Jewish-American Princess, a term that, on one hand, does reinforce negative, negative stereotypes about both Jews and women but, on the other hand, is a term that we want to reclaim and own. Also, should acknowledge that me saying "dap to this jap" is appropriative and a little problematic, if we're being honest.

This is touchy stuff and it's pretty complicated
But I noticed the dynamic and I thought that I should name it
Just like I hated you, but now I kinda like you
This song's another thing I can see two sides to

[AUDRA:]
Terrific self-awareness

[REBECCA:]
Knock it off, Audra!
You never stop, do you?

[AUDRA:]
Can't and don't wanna

[REBECCA:]
You're a wonderful lady
But an insufferable baby

[AUDRA:]
Should we make out?

[REBECCA:]
What?! No!
Maybe...