Pain Pill

(album: Cruce Signati - 2010)

In the bowels of life
The only thing we're promised is death...
What do you use to kill the pain?

Rapping was something that I did when I was younger
It wasn't about the money
It was all about the hunger
Now I'm writing while this rap game slumbers
Knowing if I didn't then my pain would take me under

Looking back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost
But from here until we make it to the Boss...
What's your Pain Pill?

Jesus Christ
How could I understand a lesson taught to a boy that was meant for a man?
All my life I had to stand between purpose and doubt
But what's the point of God's plan if I can't figure it out?
A young boy with a machete
Hiding in the halls
Hearing screams through the windows
Bullets bouncing off the walls...
As a child in the slaughter it ain't about balls
It's about accepting death the moment that death calls
I remember when my daddy looked me in my eyes
And said "Son I want you to know that tonight you're gonna die
But you fight for your family and life is all that you lose...
And you kill as many of these rebel soldiers before you do..."
Too young to grasp the meaning of death
But old enough to grasp that killing was all we had left
So you accept the bloodshed in circumstances
And turn a blind eye to conscience while Lucifer dances
This lesson I learned came with a price...
Growing up believing that death was just a way of life
And to this day I feel the thunder but I never see the rain...
I made it out my family's slaughter to end up dying in my pain

Looking back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost
But from here until we make it to the Boss...
What's your Pain Pill?

Ain't nothing sweeter than a finger of that Afgoo
To roll up my pain and blow it to my rearview
Cause dwelling on it multiplies the anger
So until I'm gone I'll be known for rolling Gorilla Fangaz!
Kill it all! When I got that call from Khujo Goodie
Told me that my nigga P-Nut was shot
Dropped and bloodied
3 birds to the chest but just one bird shy
To survive the fire...
It took him 3 days to die
Now I hate myself, for 3 days I cried
I gave him dap the night before but never said goodbye...
Then 3 days later once I've dried my eyes
I hear my cousin was tortured for 3 days and burnt alive
I was petrified! With one thing to decide...
Whether or not when I kill these bitches I cut out their eyes
So as I'm walking out the door in a rage of revenge
I realize I'm gambling the lives of my 3 kids
So listen for wisdom
Here's the lesson
Everything comes in 3s
Even the blessings
So if it took Jesus 3 days to rise from the dead
Then here's my Pain Pill...
3 Gorilla Fangaz to the head!

Looking back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost
But from here until we make it to the Boss...
What's your Pain Pill?

I find I'm lost inside this pain from all this death I've seen
And I don't know what it takes to make this suffering leave
Until I hear the Boss saying drop your pain on me
But here I go again
Seeking out a substance to take away my pain...
I notice...
I notice that it don't do a thang
I don't mean to be hurting
I don't need to be burdened
If death is all that's certain then I can live by Faith
Jehovah
Father...
I lay my pain at your feet

Looking back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost
But from here until we make it to the Boss...
What's your Pain Pill?