The Blues Song

(album: Stoney's Extra Stout (Pig) - 1995)

We can stand naked on the corner of Main Street, baby, and
Let everybody slow down and take a look
You can drive your Cadillac to the library, baby, and maybe read the
Last ten pages of an Agatha Christie book
You can feed my cat to my dog
And turn around and feed my dog to my horse
You can screw the whole damn royal family, baby, until they
All get a divorce

Baby, baby, baby
Baby, you can do anything you wanna do, baby
I swear it will not bother me
Cause, baby, you know
Baby, you know you've got to
You've got to
You've got to be what you're going to be

You can burn down the orphanage, baby, over there on the
Poor side of town
You can go to the circus, baby, frighten the elephants
See if you can get them to maybe
Trample a clown
You can steal the prize out of my box of cereal, baby, and
Replace it with a rat
You can walk up to someone who might be a little overweight
And be kinda sensitive about it and say
"Oh my god, you're really fat!"

Live and let live, baby
That's the cornerstone
The very essence of my philosophy
And baby
Baby, you know
You know you've got to
You've got to
You've got to be what you're going to be

I'm gonna play my harmonica
Since I charge $35 a note I'm not gonna play much of my harmonica
You see the blues
The blues isn't an art form
It's not a type of music
The blues is a product
Not unlike computer chips or tampons
The blues is a way for white kids to feel
That they understand the feelings of black people
Without ever having to meet any of them
The blues is all these things and more
Available for $19.95

Oh, baby
Baby, you can do whatever you wanna do, baby
Baby, you know it's not going to bother me
Cause baby you know
You know you've got to
You've got to be what you're going to be

Here comes the solo!

Ooh, and what a solo it is
You know
That might not be the blues but it sure makes me sad

Listen, in the distance
The sound of Leadbelly rolling in his grave

I've said it before, baby
I'll say it again
Live and let live
The very essence, the cornerstone
The summit of my philosophy
Baby, baby, you know
Baby, you know you've got to
You've got to be what you're going to be

A blues man needs a nickname
And everybody calls me Two Shoes
Cause I always wear two shoes
I know it's not much of a nickname
But by the time I got around to getting my nickname
All the good ones were taken
Take for example Blind Lemon Lipschitz
Blind Lemon Lipschitz gouged out his own eyes with his thumbnails
So he could be called blind lemon
It's true, don't laugh
He felt the very essence of the blues, calling him from within
And he felt that contract too

Oh, baby
Baby, you know
Baby, you know you can do whatever you do
I don't care
I don't give a damn, baby
It's not gonna bother me
Cause baby, baby, b-b-b-b-b-b-b
You gotta
You gotta
You gotta
You gotta
You gotta be
You gotta be what you're going to be