The Remorse

(album: Certified Lover Boy - 2021)

Yeah, look

Me and Lil Sandra bagging CDs in the bubble wrap
People recognize me from the TV but I'm done with that
People don't want to see me succeed this shit come with that
Even when I come back I don't know if it's me that's gonna be coming back
Soon as I left I had to make peace with that
Dropped out of school cause nobody was teaching that
The best Western is where a nigga was sleeping at
Daemen College booking me to pull up and speak the facts
Even if they make a movie bout' us this shit'll be hard to reenact
Dislocated shoulder it's hard to be always reaching back
All these "I owe yous" it's hard for me to be keeping track
Friends who've dedicated their life to just keeping me in tact
Hard to pay 40 pay Noel pay Niko back
All the nights I needed to vent to someone at CJ's set
All the nights Chubbs was pulling up where I need him at
All the times Mark was making sure that my luggage packed and times he had to double back
I mean even with a salary you can't put no prices on that there is no salary cap there is no paying em back, for real
I wonder what it could've been if I had snakes in the mix
Actually I never want to know because we made it like this
Shots got to fly either way now make it or miss
Overtime I was all good we take it in shifts
What would you do if it wasn't this that's a hard one
The finish line is where I like to pull up and start from
Pain is just a place that I go and get the bars from
Anxiety's a drug that I use to get the job done
Delusional is a space I like to think that I'm far from
My son is the one thing I hate to be apart from
Bet against me don't know where they're getting the odds from
I know that when it's done I'm going wherever God's from
But I still don't know where I get the calm from
Yeah

Yeah, look
Got to hold my head high with two dry eyes
I told you everything is fine dog but I lied
I be trying to draw the line but it's a fine line
And I'm drowning out the noise from the sideline
Sometimes it's louder than the voice I got in my mind
I can't even hear myself when I get quiet time
Like how they telling me I'm done when I'm in my prime
They've been trying to push the narrative since 09'
And they've even had my ass convinced a couple times
But that ain't even the half I've had tougher times
Only look for sympathy inside my mothers eyes
And it's whatever with them niggas on the other side
We got problems we could never really put aside
I cracked the door for us all put my foot inside
I tried to kill them boys with kindness but they wouldn't die
So now I Kill 'Em All for acting like they couldn't die, yeah

My hard work doesn't just pay off it pays all the family debts off I'm taking heads off Future out here like Irving Azoff
House is paid off label paid off my soul for the money wasn't the trade off
Unlike most of you boys that fade off
I feel guilty taking some days off
Please don't Google my net worth the numbers are way off
I mean if you comparing it to what I really made off with
I'm more like Bernie with all the earnings that they came off
Trust me it was nothing light homes
They tried to give me a slice of the pie and I took the knife home
I know you love me can't picture being a hubby fingers too stubby to fit a ring on unless Kawhi want to run it back
Other than that the strings will be unattached
Certified Lover Boy I'm not the one for cuddling or none of that y'all music is watered down will you love em back
And you know what I'm on blowing past you, owning masters
Said you're like a father figure to me but now daddy's not around so I'm a bastard
Oh of course, the only villain that show remorse when I owe you more
Soft spot for all of the ones that came before I can't ignore it
I'm always trying to rekindle from the bottom to the top man what's it like in the middle
From the lemon faced radio host that love to be bitter
To my dogs in the game who wasn't pickett or litter
For the youngest out here starting from the beginning
Nobody praying for you when you winning don't forget it

Woah, woah, woah-woah
Woah, woah
Woah, woah-woah, woah
Woah, woah, ah
Said it's hard when it starts to fade away
Said it's hard when it starts to fade away
Yeah (Ooh, yeah)
Said it's hard when it starts to fade away
Hard when it starts to fade away
It's hard when the memories start to fade away
Said its hard when the memories start to fade away
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Ooh, ooh) So beautiful
Yeah, yeah, yeah