Dr. West (Skit)

(album: Relapse - 2009)

Morning, Marshall." "Morning, doc." "So we're discharging you today, how are you feeling?" "Anxious." "Anxiety?" "Well, anxious to get home, anxious to get back into the world. Nervous." "Nervous? C'mon, Marshall, you're a big boy now. Sounding like a bit of a baby, you can do this. You found a sponsor yet?"
"Um, not yet. I mean, but when I get back" "Well, if you find one, you find one. If you don't, you don't." "Well, yeah, I mean I godda start going to meetings first and... Wait, what?" "Well, you don't absolutely have to go to meetings and it's not like like a requirement that they fit into your schedule, we know you're a busy person."
"But I thought sobriety was the most important thing?"
"So what else are you thinking?"
"Um, well, I know I godda start practising the steps, and I mean learning them, and start being able to apply them." "Steps?"
"Yeah, steps." "There's a lot of them, aren't there? "Well, twelve."
"Christ, I don't even know them all." "Really?"
"Anything else?" "Um, well, I mean the only other question I have was like, what do I do if I find myself in a situation where maybe somebody is drinking around me or something like that and I get tempted to?"
"Take a drink." "What?" "Take a drink and you know, take the edge off."
"Take the edge off? Man, if I ever take a drink I already know what that's gonna lead me to." "What, you mean these?" [shakes pills]
"Man, what the fuck! ?" "Marshall, what's the matter, darling? Having some doubts already? Marshall, you can't leave me, you'll never leave me, Marshall. We'll always be together, Marshall. Marshall... ? Marshall! ? "No, no, no, no, NO!"