The Longing Deep Down (abdominal portal)

(album: 12 Little Spells - 2018)

Belonging deep down inside is longing
Is longing
Is longing
Is to be

I too would rather run, bound, cactus head to cactus head
Stimulating laps flung wide, the distance well rounded
A working circle
All of our adjacent points equally distant from
The center

Fulcrum self, it's fruit and its pit so deep
The whole current of being rises through it
There between your crotch and belly button

Lonely river bottom
Longing to be entertained
Stimulating laps flung wide
Wait, wait...
Before you run cactus

Wait, wait... wait...
Just... say, say
Please, with your deep dimension close
Say which is worse, the longing to arrive there, or the terror of approach?
But maybe, someday, try
Mid-slosh through intermittent voids
Try standing long enough to toe the still beneath
And dare an inward leap
Cupping your feet around that looming orb below

Glowing with the shape of real things standed
Other murky stones enlighten too, to guide you
(No, we can't say home)
For deep down there is no promise, only longing but deep down the
Longing promises to be your own

Longing deep down inside
If longing
If longing
If longing
Is to be
Longing deep down inside
Is fucking hard
It's fucking hard
It's fucking hard
To be longing
Deep down inside
Is longing
Is longing
Is longing
Is to be
Longing deep down inside is
Fucking hard
It's fucking hard
It's fucking hard
To be
It is fucking hard to be longing
And at the same time feel your own belonging

Where it's real
Deep down
Dep down
Deep
Down