Disgusted

(album: To The Dead - 2022)

Morbidly transfixed
With all that makes me sick
A consciousness cleft betwixt
Sanity and something worse
With each thought perplexed
By this mephitic hex
So virulently vexed
A brain about to burst

No longer fantasies
Manifesting by degrees
Tenebrous tendencies
I now perceive

Disgusted
Engulfed in the unclean
Disgusted
Inundated by thoughts obscene
Repulsed and fascinated
Enthralled and nauseated
Disgusted

With each passing hour
My waking dreams devoured
Quivering, my conscience cowers
From this thing that I've become
Slashing through my eager mind
Fantasies I'd feared to find
Learning that I'm so inclined
To let my empathy grow numb

And so I take this blade
My choice now clearly made
But once the violence fades
A dread pervades

Disgusted
Engulfed in the unclean
Disgusted
Inundated by thoughts obscene
Repulsed and fascinated
Enthralled and nauseated
Disgusted

Repugnant, repulsive epiphany
What the mirror reflects back at me
A putrid portrait of lunacy
Derangement taken hold utterly
Viscera lay scattered
Ichor want only spattered
Sanity at last shatters
Flesh left in tatters

Wretched, wrenching, retching stench
Clutching at clarity no longer entrenched
In someone else's blood I am drenched
A grisly, gore-soaked, gratuitous gut-wrench
Cranium pulped and pulverized
Gray matter bruised and brutalized
No nose, no face, no mouth, no eyes
Disgusting dreams now realized

Death courses through blackened veins
Another life so cruelly slain
As they endeavor to explain
The depths of my depravity
Now madness I embrace
Leaving the world to face
The disgust I felt replaced
With a numb tranquility
The abhorrence I impart
Within the bowels of the torn apart
Makes you so sick at heart
Behold my art and be

Disgusted
Engulfed in the unclean
Disgusted
Inundated by thoughts obscene
Repulsed and fascinated
Enthralled and nauseated
Disgusted