happy For you / Method Acting

(album: Forward / Slash - 2022)

My dad told me he hoped that he lived long enough
To see me happy again
I didn't know what to say to that
So all I said back was, "yeah, me too."

I wanna smile without hesitations
Laugh without any reservations
Say I'm fine and mean it

I wanna be happy like I know I should be
I'm sorry truly my sadness makes you sad too
And since I can't happy for me
I wanna be happy for you

People tell me I look happier
It feels like a lie
Maybe I'm just better at hiding it now
Or maybe this is what healing feels like

Maybe all that it is is not knowing what it is
Until you do it
I was hurting so bad for so long
And then I wasn't before I knew it

And there was no graduation day
No clear finish line
Just me working at healing my hurting
And wondering if I'll be method acting for the rest of my life

People tell me I look happier
And now I think I do too
Either that or I'm a damned good actor
Cause even I've got myself fooled

At some point, I stopped having to pretend to be fine
I don't know when it happened
But someday method acting turned into real life

And there was no graduation day
I don't know and I don't care when I passed the finish line
Because healing is learning that healing from hurting
Was only a matter of time

It was only a matter of
It was only a matter of
It was only a matter of
It was only a matter of
It was only a matter of

It was only ever a matter of time