Pressure 6

(album: It's Different - 2016)

They say that fear is a dream killer
But my fears of failing they let me dream bigger
So big some would say its just a fantasy
Well I'ma do it to the point where every fan'll see
I think back to the day of pressure 3 when I wrote that track that night I was a different man
Because halfway through I was through with the pen when I put it to my head and the trigger, damn (damn)
I knew it was a mistake, you never understand thinking that's the way to escape
I felt the pain so deep I couldn't stop with the shakes
Then they show me that it wasn't my decision to make
I had a, pile of glass, floor full of ash
With another bottle to smash once I finished the last
My inner voice, telling me it could be gone in a flash
You never think these type of thoughts till your down to ya last
I know its crazy, to think I could have ended it there
To be numb, see it more as an attempt to be scared
Ain't the one, to talk about it but I'm blessed to be here
And God I'm pourin out my heart just from my chest to be clear
And yeah, though the pain re-created such a sicker flow
I ask God why I'm walking with a bitter soul
And right there I began to understand
What he put into my hands was the recipe for me to grow

I was so busy tryna get the world to love me
I forgot the ones who already did
So caught up on tryna make a future for them
I couldn't be there all the time for my kids
Then I wonder why a bitter baby mother made me suffer cause she never found it deep in her heart to forgive
Cause before I was tryna be a dad I was deep up in the pad but the raps weren't paying
And it was all for opportunity, did it for years
And the payback was everything that's gotten me here
If they say, I don't deserve what is coming its clear
They don't know, I'll flood the earth with all the sweat and the tears
I've had quitting on my mind more than dozens of times
But can't let them see a failure when they look at my eyes
I'd rather die than to have my daughters thinking I tried
To make it happen for their future but could never provide
I see the time, its passing in the blink of an eye
I feel the pressure, its pressing in the back of my spine
I hear the critics, they said that I was stupid to try
But a star needs all the darkness in order to shine
These rhymes gave me the name but I was flawed from the start
So many cracks, but this diamond hasn't fallen apart
Here comes the flood better get you an ark
Cause you're gonna need 2 of everything to rebuild when I stop
I'm on a mission

They tell me not to change and they love to listen
But if you turn the page you can see the vision
Day to day everything feel like the same
But when you think of the past and look back everything is different
I think about the team that I got around me
The way we met, what we've done, how they got around me
I sit back just to watch them working hard around me
Knowing I gotta be number one if they counting on me
So there's no tuning the brakes and nah, (nah)
There's no losing our place
This hotel is booked up there's no room for mistakes
What is a movement if there isn't any movement to make
And that's why, I gotta keep us at a positive pace
So I try to, make it so there's not a moment to waste
I won't lie, its cool to get a co-sign from the greats (hah)
They know that I can see the real and the fake
I'm wide awake and I know what I can bring to plate
But I don't know if the help is worth a slice of the cake
It took 10 years for me to bake
So excuse me if I'm sensitive on how much you can take
Me and my whole team walking down the road of success
No such thing as free rides when they all see a check
That's why the pressure's always leaving me stressed
Cause everybody say he's gonna blow its still anyone's guess I'm real